Not Just Yet

2011-12-10T02:04:00.001+08:00

Long since I've updated this blog. So why the sudden concupiscence ?

As childish as it may be, I find myself plotting in my head on how I could have retaliated against the nasty client today and put her to shame.

She went with: please check with your senior first, and I went 'I AM the senior'.

"You are the senior and you are asking me how to audit ?"

How she tried to undermine my role as a senior.

Gosh, the bank has such large operations, how do you expect me to know who is responsible for the area I'm examining when all I have is figures in the trial balance.

God damn it, just say that you are not the right person to talk to-lah !

Well, I did lose my patience and that was unprofessional of me. It's so difficult to be the 'bigger' person and take whatever shit that is thrown at you with a smile.

Luke 6:29 says "To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either"

Easier said than done.

***

How has life been to me ? Life has taken major transformation. Mum got hitched, I am getting the things I need and desire. While not owning a BMW, life is comfortable, I am happy. Just need to replenish the bank account. Saving is beyond my comprehension.

I guess that's all for now. Eyes are sealing shut.

Last Resort

2011-04-29T23:07:00.001+08:00

I can't believe I had to resort to this.
Hiding in the toilet pretending to bathe. Driving home only to find he's there and turning around to park somewhere hidden until he left.

One step at a time ?

2011-04-29T00:38:00.005+08:00

So she recently started dating Mr. B. Yes, I am happy she is no longer lonely and that she has finally found someone to love and care for her. But I am not ready to accept this person in my life.

It's 11.30 pm, I've just returned home and you want to come ambush me unprepared ? Can't you take it slow ? I can be open about lotsa things but these things ... come on, give me some time !

And why can't you take some time in getting to know him more before jumping into a marriage ? How long have you guys dated ? 1 month ? Of course he is nice now, since he wants to tackle you. Come on, 1 month and you are agreeing to his proposal ? I really don't know what to say. And what can I say anyway ? Well, I've speak my mind and if you are happy, so be it. But please do not ever ambush me like that. You'd just make me hate him. I'm sorry but I'm just extremely irritated now. Or sad ? I don't know.

That Age

2011-03-28T00:53:00.008+08:00

I've reached that age that I begin to think about what I've acheived and what I want in life. There's so many things I wanna do and say, but because of restrictions, norms, fear ... I held them back.

But hell, we only live this once, I am only gonna be 25 once, it's now or never. After all, what's the worst that could come out of it ? I wouldn't die, the world wouldn't end. No harm done. Ok, perhaps some regrets, disappointment, heartache ... But that's better than having to wonder all your life 'what if'.

So, choose to go on a holiday alone if you feel like it. Resign, if you really hate your job. Take a 6 months break if you feel you need it.

Take a leap !

Note to self

2011-03-07T23:36:00.001+08:00

It's not about dedication towards work, it's your attitude as an individual.

Intervention is in order !

Patience is a virtue

2011-02-05T01:03:00.010+08:00

Pictures are not related, I was just reminiscing over the good times and thought I'd share them so this post wouldn't be too bland.

Chinese New Year has come and go. Can't believe it's already Saturday. I mean so quickly 4 days of holidays have come to pass. Another 2 days and it's back to work ! Ah ... dreadful !

I had just returned from a family dinner over at my mum's side. Truthfully, I had dreaded it. I wanted to leave as soon as possible. It's not like they are vicious people, it's just that we don't really know each other all that much. After all, we kinda don't know each party exists for at least 10 years.

Yee Joo has her 'lala' side too ! (look at her peace sign !)

You see, my mum and her sis had this enmity for years. Something happened and they wouldn't see or talk to each other for years. It was until my grandmother passed away that they reconciled. And it was then that I got to know I had these bunch of relatives. So yeah, being around them is kinda awkward. It's like you are with family but you still have to be at the edge of your seat, to be at your best behavior.

I think partly it's also cause I feel inferior to them. They are rather well-to-do with daughters who graduated overseas, wears skirts and make-ups, while we are made in Malaysia, tattoo-infested and slightly boyish ... you get the drift.

Anyhow, I tried making conversations and the evening actually turned out quite fine. My cousins are actually quite down-to-earth despite their upbringing. So yeah, I had fun talking to these new found relatives.

***

My sister had without my permission, passed my laptop to my cousin to copy her drama series. Not a biggie actually, just that it's my company's laptop ! I told myself I shall not scold her when I got home, but to no avail. Gosh do I have a bad temper. I want to be able to look past things and say:" it's ok, just make sure you ask me first next time, ok ?"

Ah ~ patience M00nie !!!

Carefree/ offensive ?

2011-01-18T00:13:00.003+08:00

Stay carefree, but not many can take your snappish jokes. It may seem funny to you, yet offensive to others. New year resolution: Be less uptight, but remain discrete.

you have what we call ...

2011-01-02T23:43:00.002+08:00

the severe Monday Blues syndrome !!!

Symptoms:
1. Begins feeling miserable around 8 pm, Sunday
2. Short-tempered
3. Sensitive
4. Lost of appetite / gluttonous (excessive consumption of food)

Remedy:
1. It's all about the mindset !
-Try to think about work differently. Gain sense of achievement by doing your work well/ effectively/ efficiently.

2. Music !
- These days I find Bruno Mars' Marry You especially uplifting.
- Hillsong does wonders too.

3. Friends !
- Don't have to have lots of them, one will do. Gives you something to look forward to.

surprisingly relaxed

2010-12-12T02:09:00.002+08:00

In general, I consider myself an uptight person. A colleague once told me to ... 'Get a grip' ! I don't know whether he was just joking or really meant it. Anyhow, it was a valid comment.

I fuss about the tiniest thing you can think of. About dropping my brand-new phone, about constantly losing my stationeries, you get the drift.

When it comes to exams, I normally procrastinate at the beginning and then get really nervous a few days before the exam. This time around, I am surprisingly relaxed, even it's just 2 days from now. I study at my own pace, taking long breaks in between and turned my sleeping hours around. I am normally asleep 8am - 4pm and awake the rest of the time.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that I'd pass this paper at my 1st attempt. I've prayed long and hard for it. Though effort-wise, not really deserving of it.

Excuse to procrastinate

2010-11-30T03:26:00.002+08:00

The title says it all.

Just watched Letters to Juliet. Wouldn't say it was a great watch but it's those love stories that leaves you ....

"Oh, how I wish I was her"

or ...

"Maybe it's time I muster the courage ?"

Jokes gone wrong

2010-11-30T00:54:00.002+08:00

Most times I make jokes which are kinda insulting, but in a funny way. At least I try to. I think I might have gone overboard at times. But my intentions are never malicious. I just hope my friends and colleague sees this.

On another note, must.start.to.study.hard.from.tomorrow.onwards. Like seriously. Please let it not be too late !

Point for Reflection: Bitching

2010-11-15T23:51:00.003+08:00

Today we had an nice session of bitching over a farewell dinner. Yes, it was all enjoyable and all, speaking your hearts out. Chances are, others might feel the same about you. And it would have sucked big time, if they had talked about you like how you had talked about them.

So m00nie, keep your opinions to yourself. And to acquaintances, make small talk, but keep your very true self at bay, just until you know them better.

Quoting from the Bible:
"Do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets" Luke 6:31.

Not Giving Up

2010-10-03T23:45:00.003+08:00

During one of those all-nighters job, I asked my senior who is pregnant about how she met her husband. And I got an amazing love story.

Her husband started pursuing her since Form 1. At that time, my senior was not at all interested and made it very clear about how she felt. This went on till her university days. Through this all, her husband didn't give up. He continued pursuing her persistently and finally his efforts harvested.

It must have felt so great to be at the receiving end of such love. I think it's always best to have someone like you more than you do. You'd be so loved, so blessed.

***

On another note, I am so excited at the coming of a new member into the Lim Clan !!! My cowzen, Benjamin is expecting a son this Wednesday !!! I'm gonna be an auntie !!!

Of heartaches and jealousy

2010-09-26T21:29:00.006+08:00

September, though being the month of my birth has been full of heartaches, jealousy, insecurity ... all the negativity ... you name it !

Geez ... get a grip man m00nie !

But well, can't complain about the the prezzies though ! Totally loving them.

Got this watch from my high school friends. Gosh I'm so touched by Naoki. One fine day he called me. 'I'm sorry lah, I can't get you the Ipod Dock, we can't afford it. Can we get you a watch instead ? What watch do you have now ?' I mean, I could feel like he is really trying hard to get me something I'd like. Actually, the thought of wanting to get me a present is already suffice.

The Bitch Clan got me this purse. Totally rocks hard !!!
My wallet has been broken for ages, but I've been dawdling on getting a new one !
I really like it !! Thanks guys !

***

I feel so naked in front of this friend of mine. It's like the motive behind my every actions whether intentional or not is known to her. It can be so scary at times. I guess in most ways she understands me well. Can't say that it's likewise though.

Ahh ... work again tomorrow ... Blues !!!
Hope an episode of Brothers and Sisters would get me going ...

Mid-life crisis

2010-08-07T03:19:00.003+08:00

When I've finally begun to believe that things are going my way, I realized that it has been wishful thinking all along. The feeling is like your heart's crushed.

I think I'm having mid-life crisis. Yeah, that young in life. I've been doing things impulsively, sometimes my thoughts just wander off, even when I'm mingling with my friends. And you thought that no one would've notice, when in fact you are staring into space with that blank expression.

Some good news. Got notice that I will be promoted. Yay ! At least something's going well for me. Other than this, not so flattering. Can't stop thinking about how I suck, big time.

Time and time I tell myself to stay positive, don't think too much. But you know, sometimes when you have some time to sit and reflect, gosh there's so many things I wished I could have done differently, or not do it at all. And then I'd wish I could be better at so many things and realize that no matter how hard I try, I just suck.

***

Gasp

2010-07-18T00:43:00.006+08:00

Each time a car of a similar type and color passes by, my heart skips a beat.

***

Work is so scary these days. Gotta watch each step of the way. Else, beware of the wrath of the client and the bosses !!! Yes, I must admit that some of their expectations are valid. But there is just not enough time. And the nastiness ? Some compassion maybe ?

***

I've been completely bizarre. Got myself inked twice in a little over a month. The 1st was completely spontaneous and I loved it.

The second was ... ok I am a little regretful. Let's just say that the variety of my working attires has shrunk to only long sleeve shirts.

Still getting used to seeing colors on my forearm.

Money

2010-07-04T23:53:00.009+08:00

Isn't it an irony that money was first created to facilitate the exchange of goods and services ? Today, it is the source of many crimes, division in status, standard of living and becomes a sensitive matter even between families and friends. Sometimes it is capable of turning relationships sour. Hell, the creation of my profession is also because of this capitalist society.

... Just a little shout out of my sentiments.

***

Ah, this entire month is gonna be so hectic !!! I have classes on Mondays, Wednesdays & Thursdays nights and an entire Sundays of classes !!!

I'm glad that I have someone to go to classes with. Makes it less dreadful. At least there's something to look forward to.

***

By the way, just returned from my trip to Melbourne. The trip was awesome !!!

Really had fun exploring the city. And skiing too !!!

Had pleasure getting to know her family. Especially her extremely sweet and cheeky cousin, Marcus.

Love this picture. The radiance of happiness !!!

Well the trip had slightly fell short of my expectations though. Thought we would have time for more sights of Melbourne. And well, we had a little bit of a squabble at the end of the trip. For a completely minute issue !

Anyways, I am pleased that we managed to spend some time together away from work and studies !!!

In sum, a great trip nonetheless !

Mixed feeling

2010-06-16T23:18:00.002+08:00

So my exam for this semester has finally ended. Yet my feelings are mixed. Yes I'm glad that it's over but I'm also feeling so lousy, because I have a strong feeling that I'm doomed !

I really really don't want to retake the same papers over again !

Ok, I didn't work all that hard. Even if I had, I feel like the papers are way beyond my capabilities. Because when answering the questions, it's like you know the answers yet you don't know. It's not like if you've read the text required that you'd know how to do it. The killer is it's application !

And I'm like a turtle when writing. I've been writing non-stop for 3 hours during the exam and yet I can't finish the questions.

The worse feeling of all is I feel like my competence is way behind my peers.

CaroLian

2010-06-04T15:40:00.003+08:00

Get it ? BenGie = Ben + Angie, so CaroLian = Carol + Julian

Yesterday, they had officially tied the knot, by signature that is. Oh, how I wish that I was more involved. The truth is, I got wind about the signing ceremony about 1 or 2 days before through Facebook. And so I thought, since I wasn't invited, should not attempt to self-invite.

Do not be misled though, I'm not feeling bad/jealous that I was not invited. I think it was more of a immediate family, uncles & auntie, close-friends/cowzens kind of event. But looking at the pictures in Facebook, ah the joy there was ! Made me wish I had been a part.

Okie, a short one, back to the boring stories of Business Analysis.

Old People

2010-04-11T13:05:00.002+08:00

Everyone has a story to tell. I like listening to old people narrating about their younger days, their trials and tribulations. Kinda makes me feel like everyone has their share of hardship in life. It's like, I'm not alone. They can get through it, so can I !

Back to Square One

2010-04-11T02:56:00.006+08:00

Can't believe the entire Saturday's gone already. Today, I think I'm falling back to my old melancholic ways again. Dunno le, suddenly I'm feeling kinda miserable. The thought of piling work, upcoming exams, my canceled Bangkok trip and growing old certainly does me no justice.

Cows on the road (Job @ Rawang)

But well, I guess the key to being happy is not about having a perfect, problem-less life but is to be able to move on from setbacks, flaws with a positive attitude. Oh, I'm being all philosophical here.

About my canceled trip, it's because of the political demonstrations in Thailand. How unlucky of me right ? Ah well, let's hope that we'd get refund for it or maybe peace would be restored right before our trip ? Doesn't hurt to have some wishful thinking !

***

These days I've been feeling incredibly old. I'm 24 already this year, though my birthday is still months away (oh did I mentioned that my birthday's gonna be a public holiday from now on ?), but it's like another year to go and I'm halfway through a decade to the big 3-0.

When I was younger, I used to feel that someone at the age of 24 is like really an adult already, a different level from being a young adult, that they'd have much more matured thinking and well just act like an adult lah. But I'm 24 now, and I still feel very much a teenager.

And responsibilities are creeping in closer, while all I wanna do is just to have fun. I long for my childhood years where I could speak my mind without serious consequences, where I'd have school holidays, where all I had to worry was about studying and passing my exams. I can now finally understand why the adults used to say that studying is much easier than actually working in the society.

***

Been really mean this week, pondering back: what if it was me ? How would I feel ?

New Resolution:

To hate in silence ! =p

So what

2010-03-22T21:36:00.002+08:00

Some people are just plain snobs. Just because they live in PJ/Damansara, they think that they're more superior than others. Who says people in Cheras only speaks mandarin ? Obviously you're ignorant. And I don't think your English is any greater.

3 days to a week

2010-02-16T01:07:00.004+08:00

That's how long the CNY holidays were. Funny it seemed much longer before it began, and now there's only one day left. I've accomplished most things I wanted to do during the holidays, except work. Didn't touch it at all.

Got good news over reunion dinner. Cousin's wife is 1 and a half month's pregnant. I'm gonna be Auntie Angela ! Imagine that huh.

These days I've been excited about organizing Yee Joo's wedding. I don't know why. And it's not even in the process yet.

Well I guess I do know why. I was inspired by this.

And this.

Pardon me MsRedd and Sonia (if you happen to be reading this) for the lack of permission.

I long for that feeling of seeing her walk down the aisle with tears trickling down my cheek.

***

Ok, back about CNY, today's karaoke totally rocked hard. And we certainly had fun during our Glee marathon. Even the aunties enjoyed it too. That's a first.

Kinda disappointed today though. Was supposed to hang out with the BC. But the plan got canceled. Anyways, hanging out at my cousin's now, and watching My Sister's Keeper for the second time, kinda feel like crying. It's so touching.

Well, till next time. Ciaoz !

Minute worries

2010-02-13T01:58:00.005+08:00

Today I feel like ... a kid, particularly during my primary years, when I couldn't remember the multiplication table (the 11 & 12 multiples especially) and it was almost my turn to recite it to my teacher ...

I received an email today indicating that my leaves in June were disapproved due to incomplete submission. I already knew the reason why. You see, it's the policy of my firm that any application of leaves for more than 3 days would require 3 approvers: the verifier (admin personnel), the scheduling manager and the partner. And that is if you are not already booked for a job. If you are, add in another approver: the engagement manager.

As you can see, getting a week's of leave approved would take some time. So in order to escape the bureaucracy, I staggered my leave application. I applied for two days of leave in one day, waited for a few days or a week to pass and put in another application for another 2 days.

Well, my plot wasn't successful. (but it was last December, I got 2 weeks of leave) The manager discovered my plot and has requested to see me. Couldn't see her today as I wasn't at the office. So I instant-messaged her, but she wouldn't discuss the matter over the net and has insisted to see me.

So now my Chinese New Year is officially doomed. Can't stop the lingering thoughts of what she might have to say. And what if my leaves doesn't get approved ? I've already bought my tickets to Melbourne. And it's like something I'm really looking forward to. Arghhhh ...

Anyways, it's my entitlement what. Plus, I've bought the tickets and applied for the leaves 6 months before the date and even before I'm booked for any job. So should be ok lah ...

***

Worry No.2 : My ACCA ! Result's coming out end of this month. I really hope I wouldn't fail. Retaking the test would be painful and expensive !

***

I raised my voice on my colleague yesterday. He is just super irritating. Always act as if he's a know-it-all. And then he wants to review my work, when he's not even my senior ! We're of same rank but he joined much earlier. And bloody hell said that I did it wrongly when he was actually mistaken. It was such joy to correct and having him admit his mistake. Muahahaha.

Ok I must admit that he is much more experienced than I am but his attitude is totally unbearable. Even the client's irritated with him.

But aih, I should have been more patient. Now I have to worry about what my other colleagues would think of me.

I really need to shut up

2010-02-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

I don't know why, but these days I'm extremely blunt. I really do speak my mind. Just when those words are blurted out of my mouth, I find myself shocked to have said that.

I really need to shut up. Oh please stop in time before thoughts turn into words !

On a lighter note, Chinese New Year's just around the corner. Haven't got any new clothes, guess I'd just have to put on something red.

Looking forward to Ang Paus.

This was what she had to say about me

2010-02-06T00:38:00.003+08:00

There are many things that I disapprove of. One of those is my sister going off to study in Australia. It's just that my parents can't afford it and that it would place a great deal of a financial burden on them.

Anyhow, my Yesman father said yes. The plan was for her to do her final year over at Tasmania. But I have recently come to find out that she now has plans to go over earlier, that is to complete her final two years of degree in Aussieland.

I decided that I would not argue anymore. And so I kept mum about the issue.

Today Dad forwarded me a message that went like this:

'Hey Dad, what we talked about the other day concerning the early transfer thing can u not bring it up during reunion when sis is around. Keep it between us ya. Thanks.'

'Dad, ur going to subject me to HELLISH days at home if we bring it up in the present. She won't understand. Let me figure things out first. I thing it's best that only after everything's confirmed i.e. I can find the most viable option of paying everything then we'll discuss with her.'

I didn't know that I'm capable of subjecting people to hellish days.

Multitude

2010-02-01T23:03:00.002+08:00

Alright short one so that I could start my day early tomorrow.

Work is piling up and there's nothing I can do about it ! Bloody client is understaffed and has no time to entertain me. And I need to finish everything before Chinese New Year, which is near to impossible as we too are understaffed and without someone experienced enough to lead us.

Aaaarghh ... That's how I feel.

Client's place is super far. I've gotta refill petrol every 3 days and that's RM 45 once.

***

Ok, enough ranting. Have you guys been listening to Redfm ? If you have, you'd be sure to have heard about the game 'Word up'. It has been on for the longest time ever and the cash reward had actually snowballed to an astounding RM 17 k.

All you have to do is guess who's the celebrity who said the word 'blog' in the audio played. Each day RM 100 would be added if no one got it right. So who was the mysterious celebrity ?

Ah ... 17k ... so much I could do with it ....

On another note, though I had to work today (on a public holiday !!!), I found myself smiling through the journey to work. Somehow, scenes of my karaoke session with the Bitches kept replaying in my head.

Sweet Dreams ... or Beautiful Nightmare ....

Afraid

2010-01-24T20:24:00.004+08:00

I've come to realize that part of the reason that I have been procrastinating on completing my work and my homework is because I am afraid. Afraid that I'll be stuck, afraid that I'd actually not know how to complete them.

So, in order not to feel lousy, I procrastinate. Well of course, the other part of the reason is I'm lazy. I'd rather watch TV or hang out with my friends than doing my work.

On a lighter note, I think scents are returning to me subtly. Well sometimes it's there and sometimes it's not. I guess this still calls for celebration.

Some viewing pleasure.

Love the Christmas hat effect and the pink of our cheeks.

Yet Again

2010-01-18T23:23:00.003+08:00

I used to think: if only I had worked harder.

I have always believed that my lack of success in academics is solely contributed by my laziness. But recently, I feel like I've proven myself wrong.

I have been working whole-heartedly and dare I say dedicatedly last week but I'm just so goddamned slow. I am starting to think that I lack that bit of intelligence. Now this certainly hurts my self-esteem. It's not that I've been living in my own world thinking I've got brains of Einstein, it's just that I have always regarded myself as being fast-paced, not the brainy type but too bad too.

But events have played recently in a way that makes me feel that I'm 30 seconds slower. In an array of things too, may I say.

Ah well, different people are meant for different things. I hope that in time, I'd discover my destiny and with time and effort, things would improve. I'd first need to learn to see the brighter side of things.

In the meantime, sleep is sorely needed.

The price of Aging

2010-01-09T23:36:00.003+08:00

Mum got her medical report today. Turns out she has high blood pressure, diabetes and inflamed liver. Don't worry, the situation's under control. Seems like it's not serious, just that well, she has daily pills to take now.

It got me thinking. It's just that I've always taken my health for granted. I think when you are young, you'd feel like these illnesses are way beyond you, so eat whatever you wanna eat and do whatever you like. For me, it's been taking late night baths and sleeping with wet hair.

Recently, I've come to the conclusion that I've got a weak immune system. Often, when I do get fevers, which comes along with coughs and flu, the cough would last for weeks. Just like now, I've been sick since I returned from Singapore. And that was 2 weeks ago.

So, here comes my first new year resolution: to be more health conscious ! Wait, it's 11 pm already ? And I've not bathe yet. Last time, I promise !!!

Stalkerish

2009-12-08T23:50:00.004+08:00

Since I'm having 2 weeks of study leave, I've been doing something rather stalkerish.

The story goes like this:

It was during my primary 6 graduation trip. I was lucky enough to be in the same group of students from class 6S. I was in 6R you see.

There was this boy, which became the talk of my female classmates. Ok, he doesn't exactly have that to-die-for kind of looks, but he had qualities which I must admit, are rather attractive.

He was smart, being in the best class among the 5 (I was in the 3rd), bespectacled, tall, english-speaking, charismatic, a prefect, rich, and rather cute. How do I know he's rich ? Well, he told me his parents gave him 200 bucks to spend on that 4 days trip, which is considered a lot, given that age.

Flipping through the photo albums, I realized that I was actually in the same class as him during primary 2 !

And my fondest memory of the trip was: you know during those times, there was this kind of machine for kids. You put in 20 or 50 cents, and you can spin the knob to get all kinds of toys. In my case, it was those egg-sized container which opens with a toy inside.

So he actually bought a few and gave them to me !!!

*** Forward to the present day. A couple of years back, I was working in World of Cartoons at Midvalley. Guess who I saw there ? Jeng jeng jeng, him ! Shopping with his mum. Not long later, I saw him again in Jalan Telawi, Bangsar. A couple of days later, I saw him again at the cinema! Oh the cheesiness.

Anyways, these days I've trying to search for him through facebook via friends of the same primary school. I even googled him. But sadly, to no avail. Stakerish ?

Roads

2009-12-08T01:53:00.006+08:00

Haven @ LookOut Point

Just had dinner with a bunch of friends. Should not have gone out, but I guess, what the hell. Talked about a myriad of affairs. One friend recounted that he had on several occasions took drives out at night ALONE to Genting for a cuppa coffee, to Putrajaya or just pure wandering around KL.

Ok, that's a little weird but kinda cool too. Just thought I ought to try it some time. Maybe I could improve on my sense of directions. Which sucks big time I tell you.

Oh, dinner tonight was kinda wonderful. There were moments that we were just listening to the live music of Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight, John Denver's Leavin' on a Jet Plane, Glenn Medeiros' Nothing Can Change My Love for you. Although we weren't talking, it was not at all awkward. I guess comfort does come with long association.

I personally like this rendition of Wonderful Tonight by Michael Buble.

***

Suddenly, I long for a holiday by the beach with a book in my hand. Dare I travel alone coming holidays in December ? Pulau Tiga seems tempting.

Unintentional

2009-12-03T00:59:00.002+08:00

I was mean today. I don't know what got into me. I need to control my temper.

I sat here reflecting and realized I was mean in so many occasions. Just because others' actions seemed absurd, I make nasty and sarcastic remarks. Who am I to judge ?

Anti-social

2009-12-02T01:11:00.002+08:00

I'm totally worried that I'm becoming anti-social. Since working, I've intentionally missed 3 company events: Sport club's dinner (which I contribute 5 dollars a month), group trip and industry dinner.

In fact, I had actually signed up for the group trip to prove to myself that I'm not anti-social but I ended up lying about being sick.

I feel kinda pathetic having seen others having a time of their lives getting to know their colleagues and making new friends while I am here friendless. Well, I do meet acquaintances but I just haven't found someone or a group of individuals that are my clique.

I just don't feel comfortable attending these events and I haven't an idea why. Maybe I'm just unwilling to step out of my comfort zone ? Maybe I'm feeling insecure ?

To bid Farewell

2009-11-16T00:38:00.002+08:00

Dear Naoki,

I wish you a safe journey to the land of Moo Moo. Your presence shall be sorely missed.

Go on and have a time of your life. Stop comparing with those of us who have started working. You have made your choice. Be proud of it. Experience all you can. Just remember to come back by September next year. ;)

Yours truly,
M00nie

Simple

2009-11-14T03:16:00.004+08:00

I really like this song from 宮心計 or 'Beyond the Realm of Conscience'.

It's like so simple, accepting things as they are, so serene.

But yet at the same time, it sings a sad tune of those serving girls at the palace, who just want to return home.

***

Really addicted to 'You Belong with Me' too. Been putting it on repeat mode through journey to work and home.

Reminisce

2009-10-17T00:01:00.011+08:00

Someone once told me about a movie called 'the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants'. It's amazing how she could describe it with such detail that when I finally watched it, it happened exactly in the order of her narration.

I always liked these sharing sessions. Although it would end up with her doing all the talking, but hey, I'm a great listener.

I remember one night watching a local production 'Sepet'. It was the kind of movie that would leave me thinking about it well after it has ended. In such occasions, I would need someone to discuss it with.

With my mind flowing with thoughts, I logged onto msn and guess who had just watched it too? The very same person.

It is incredible how someone could recount an entire 3 days of leadership camp to you, all in less than an hour. It was as if you were there. In less than an hour, I had learnt about all the main characters and could recount to you the highlights of the trip. Though it is rather vague now, I only remember: watermelon, umbrella and Rihanna.

That was how it was.

~

Oh, I think I'm beginning to like my job. Just a little. Kinda like the traveling part and the flexibility. It's like I could go to work at 11 am. (Shhh ... don't tell anyone) I also like going to new places. I didn't know there's a shopping centre in KL called CapSquare.

I think I'm a teeny-weeny better at roads now. (Oh, GPS is such a wonder)

And I like having lunch at different places. This week, I love the coffee shops located near the company I was auditing. The concept is pretty different. It's not those chinese eatery with many hawkers selling food like wanton mee, prawn mee, pork mee etc ...

It's those chinese eateries owned by one owner, and you would order from one menu, which include: Vietnamese chicken rice, fried rice, Signature 'Chew-pai' mee, Chicken chop with rice ... Something a little different.

Well, but I think such bliss is only short-lived. Because for these couple of weeks I've been auditing unit trusts, which is a no-senior kind of engagement. Next week would be a different story altogether.

Mock exam's this Sunday, and I have not touch anything yet. So ciaoz ...

A little bit of Kindness

2009-10-10T09:57:00.002+08:00

Good morning !
I'm back at the office on this Saturday morning. No thanks to myself for falling asleep before finishing my work yesterday.

Anyways, I went to my almost weekly doctor's visit today. Yeah, my surgical wound has been giving me problems again. The staff nurse applied some kind of iodine onto the wound and said that it would be quite a cost.

So I went to the counter to make the payment and apparently I didn't have to pay anything. I think I have my doctor to thank for.

Ah, don't we all need a little kindness in our lives ?

His deed gave me this sense of warmth that I want to be kind to someone I may not know personally, because however small the deed may be, it will surely make a difference.

Because of his kindness, he made my day. I hope I could make someone's day too.

Mixed feelings

2009-09-22T23:00:00.005+08:00

How can I begin to describe my feelings today ? It's a mixture of happiness and a little bit of shame. I guess I learnt an invaluable lesson today. Let this be a reminder not to repeat the same mistake.

***

Oh oh by the way, am loving my birthday presents this year. I got a belt and a watch, which I had plans to buy and some skin-care products, which I do *heart*. It's as if my friends had read my mind.

Am a little curious on what dad got me. Cause he said he wanted to pass me something. Hopefully it would be something I like.

Ah ... can't believe the 4 days of raya holidays have come to its end. Seem like it went by in a blink of an eye. Yet I did not have any progress in the ... drama series/movies I have prepared for the holidays. Let's look at what was on my list:

Drop Dead Diva
D.I.E
Vampire Diaries
Melrose Place
Gossip Girl
Ghost of Girlfriends Past

Thought of doing some reading in preparation for my ACCA Mock Exam, well, I did do some reading, just that it was Terry Goodkind's 'Wizard's First Rule'.

***

Don't know why, but I suddenly really miss the BC, though I just saw them a while ago. It's like I'm afraid of losing them, not because of a quarrel or the like, but because of time and changing circumstances.

Soon some of them would get married, some would find their significant other. Not that I wouldn't be happy for them, it's just that it wouldn't be the same. I just wish I could freeze this moment.

Suddenly so many things I held on to seem so petty now, suddenly I start to see things in a different light. Let me remember this awakening.

Busy and Leisure

2009-09-11T03:50:00.002+08:00

This week has been both hectic and leisure.

Throughout the beginning of the week I've been rushing to finish the engagement. So I came home on Monday at 3 am. On Thursday, I was supposed to attend a stock-take over at Shah Alam, but I was released from the job. I was actually pretty excited about it, though I'm supposed to attend it alone and would have to find my way there myself, which I am pretty bad at.

But well, it gave me this sense of independence. Too bad I was released.

You see, though I'm doing audit, but the industry I'm assigned to specializes in Financial Services. So there is no stock-take except for cash count (heh-heh). So this stock-take that I'm assigned to is actually another industry's job.

Anyways, as I was released from the stock-take this week, tomorrow would be my self-declared holiday. Yay ! (Now I seriously hope none of my colleagues are reading this)

Next week I'd still be on the same job, hopefully something good turn's up !

Of thoughts and all that is

2009-08-31T03:04:00.005+08:00

It's been some time since I last blogged. Somehow, my thoughts doesn't flow into words as easily as before. Probably because I've been busy with work too.

Just came back from our supposed Merdeka Countdown. Yeah, I know the newspaper have been reporting that there'd be no countdown and all but just thought I'd take my chances.

The bitches and I ended our Merdeka Countdown with the thriller ' The Orphan '. I'm giving it a thumbs up. One of the best thriller I've watched this year.

***

Celebrated Zin Mun's birthday on Saturday. The official date is 26th August, but as it was a weekday, the celebration was postponed to Saturday.

Now, as usual princess Joozie broke the news that she had to work on that day a little too late and so I was left with the birthday girl for almost the entire day.

We had Meng Kee Chicken Rice (I think ?) @ Jalan Alor for lunch and then headed to Just Heavenly Pleasures @ Bukit Damansara for desserts. Actually, dessert was a take-away as it is only a retail outlet that sells desserts and not a cafe. Though you may opt to have your desserts over at Chef & Brew, just opposite Just Heavenly Pleasures, but you'd have to add another 15% to the price tag.

We bought a slice of 'Death by Chocolate' and 'Banana Cream Pie'. Death by Chocolate was nice, but a tiny bit too sweet for my liking. Banana Cream Pie was nice too but it would be perfect if the crust was not so hard.

We then had movies (G.I. Joe) at Midvalley and dinner was Porto Romano @ Mont Kiara. Food was alright but ambiance was superb. Price was quite reasonable too, given the setting of the place.

So what did we get her for her birthday ? An Ipod Nano ! Cost me a bomb ! But it was totally worth it though. Think she liked it.

Hope the birthday outing wasn't too boring though.

Attitude and Confidence Says it all

2009-08-07T22:44:00.004+08:00

Working life enables encounters with many different kinds of people. One encounter left me with something to ponder upon.

One of my colleague was born with a deformed hand. But he has never shown any signs of embarrassment. Working with him, he exudes an air of confidence and you could see that he does not see it as an impairment.

Perhaps it's his confidence and attitude towards this setback that I don't see it as a disability too.

Tou-ched

2009-07-05T00:01:00.004+08:00

I went home tonight to find this.

Removing it from the bag, I found this.

It's a roller backpack, a gift from Aunty Lily and Aunty Betty. You see, in my line of work, I've gotta carry a laptop to work. And after my accident, my aunts were worried that carrying a laptop by my back would aggravate my injury and so ... Ta-da ! Brand new backpack.

I really feel so tou-ched ! It's like they worry about my condition even more than myself. And they can even think of the tiniest details that would affect my daily life.

Thank you Aunty Lily and Aunty Betty !

***

Another person to thank is my doctor, Dr. Harwant Singh. Somehow I had become his god-daughter. He has been refering me as his god-daughter to the nurses. And it has been some time that he hasn't been charging me for consultation. Like this week itself, I visited him 3 times, all free of charge.

Maybe he feels sorry for having me go under his blade for 4 times already. But well, as a top-notch doctor in the orthopedic field, he has incredibly great bedside manners.

Well, I guess I'll stop here, need to go bathe and then go Zzzz. Tomorrow or rather today marks the beginning of my Sundays gone for having to attend ACCA classes. Suddenly I feel like I'm so hardworking. =)

Finally ... I hope ?

2009-06-30T21:56:00.003+08:00

Just last Friday I was admitted yet again, on the same date as my last admission, the 26th. This marks my fourth operation on my spine. It was because of another infection. This time, I finally got the plates and screws removed. Even kept them as souvenirs.

Well, hopefully this would be my last visit.

Weight

2009-06-02T02:17:00.003+08:00

Suddenly I just feel the weight of the world upon me. I have pending engagement past dateline but I could not complete because substantial information have yet to be passed to me. Yet I question whether I've taken enough initiative/actions. And the worse thing is, I'm still on MC now.

In the meantime, I've taken significant amounts of MCs in the short span of time I've been with the firm. All facts considered, I feel like such a liability.

Things are just not working out the way I had imagined it to be.

Oh please help me sort things out. Give me motivation, positivity, determination, perseverance ...

MsRedd to the Moo

2009-05-31T04:33:00.006+08:00

On 14 May 2009, MsRedd has left for the Land of Moo Moo.

Almost the entire LimClan was there to send her off. It was extremely crowded. Got to see Uncle John, have not seen him like for a decade. Last I remember seeing him, was when I tagged along when he sent Michelle to Ballet classes.

Michelle, Uncle John and MsRedd

Everything was all fine until MsRedd announced that she was leaving for the departure hall. I gave her a hug (something which I don't normally initiate) and saw that she was in tears. Things started to get really emotional. Everyone was crying.

Ahhh ... even I was on the verge of tearing. But I managed to hold it in.

Anyways, I hope the best for you, MsRedd. May you be able to kick-start your life over there real soon and may it be a wonderful experience for both you & Julian.

P.S. I am looking forward to attend a wedding in Moo Moo !

I'm Back

2009-05-27T00:16:00.002+08:00

Well, so I'm back at the hospital. Yesterday I found out the devastating news that I have infections again. So the doctor decided to take out the metal plates implanted in me.

Today I went through the surgery, turns out the infection is very minimal and the doctor decided to leave the plates in. So now I just have to wait for the surgical wound to heal and I should be back on my feet.

It's just such a coincidence. I am now in the same room and bed as my last admission. Even the nurses still remember me.

Aih, this year has been bad f0r me. Looking back, I have been admitted into the hospital each month since March. Hopefully no more.

Random Update

2009-05-11T00:17:00.002+08:00

Well, been living in a hectic world I guess. Though ironically, I've been having two 4 days week, thanks to Labor Day & Wesak.

Working have been absolutely dreadful, in fact I am having one of those Monday blues right now. But I need to snap out of it. Positivity, that's what I need right now.

Other news include ... MsRedd is leaving on Thursday! Sob Sob. And I am afraid I may not be able to send her off at the airport. Hopefully, I could leave early on Thursday. Efficiency! I need to work faster.

Mother's Day had mum sick with stomachache. So we didn't go out on this special occasion. Though my wallet has shrink significantly as other 'contributions' were made.

Okies, sleep is calling on me.

Among other things

2009-04-26T01:11:00.005+08:00

Last Sunday was my CONVOCATION !!!

I am now an official degree holder of Bachelor of Arts Accounting & Finance.

Thought it would be a great deal to me, but I woke up that day having thoughts of skipping the ceremony.

***

Visited the doctor today, I CAN BEGIN WORK ON MONDAY !!!

X-ray of my lumbar spine taken today. Can clearly see the surgically implanted screws.

Is excited to begin work again, but am I rushing things ? I must admit that I am now a Panadol junkie. Been relying heavily on it as pain killer. Though my spine and surgical wound have been healing well, I have been having back pains.

Let's see how it goes on Monday.

200 th post

2009-04-19T01:43:00.003+08:00

Gee, this is already the 200th post.

Ahhh ... it feels so great to be able to bathe normally again.

Went to stay with Godpa for 2 nights. It was supposed to be a bonding cum lecture session. He certainly did give insights to different perspectives in looking at things but I was shocked to discover his perspective of me.

Anyways, it was absolutely an experience and I enjoyed having the '24' drama series marathon with him.

Had fun bonding with my youngest cowzen, Ashley. Though she may be a little demanding at times. Once, while I was watching tv in the room, she came in and circled around me talking nonsense. (Nonsense because I haven't any idea what she was blabbing about) Determined to continue watching my '24', I pretended to sleep and started snoring loudly. And you know what she did ?

She jumped onto the sofa I was on, and started and hugging and pulling my legs. Oh, but the cuteness is unbearable !

Please excuse the singing lah. I know it sucks. But she is really full of energy ! Been dancing like for almost an hour on 'ABBA' songs.

Reflections

2009-04-11T00:18:00.004+08:00

Was watching officially the stupidest reality drama I've ever watched : Paris Hilton's My New BFF and got into reflection mode.

It kinda reminded me about the stupid things I've done in the past. Funny how it seemed the most reasonable action then but now I feel like burying these memories in deep pits and hope no one remembers.

Read MsRedd's blog. She's leaving for the land of Moo Moo in 4 weeks.

MsRedd has become someone I've come to look up to. From an extremely irritating and mean bully and always moody individual, she became a caring cousin, someone who's always cheery and seem to have come to terms to who she is. I like the new her. Someone who's proud to be who she is and always seem so carefree and happy.

Maybe it comes with age, but I'm looking to get there.

Discharged

2009-04-08T00:10:00.004+08:00

Monday, 7pm

Dr. Harwant came to check on my wound. Actually he came in the morning, but I was in the toilet and he knocked my door reminding me to take my breakfast. I find the scene kinda funny.

He took out the tubes which was attached to my wound in order to drain the dirty blood within. I thought it would be a little painful, but before I even realized it, it was already out.

Bags of blood attached to the tube

He said today was the first time he saw me smile. True enough, knowing that I'd be discharged the next day, it made me really happy.

***

Tuesday, 4pm

I am finally discharged ! Doctor said that the wound is healing nicely. Hopefully I could return to work soon. Just feel so guilty, started work only 2 weeks, then take so many days of MC.

Throughout my 2 weeks stay at the hospital, I feel that the job as a nurse is really noble. When I wasn't allowed to walk, they would have to help me pee on the bedpan, and then clean my pp. Every morning, they would sponge me clean. Every 2 hours or so, they would have to come in to measure my blood pressure and temperature.

Momentarily, I had thoughts of pursuing nursing.

To those worried commenters, I am now uplifted and okay. No worries !

Thank you all for the fruits, the ginseng tea, the chicken essences, and all those chinese herbs thingies ! Special thanks for all the care you guys have shown to me !

Some thoughts

2009-04-05T16:04:00.005+08:00

Thank God for wi-fi ...
Currently still in hospital ... but just discovered they actually have wi-fi access free for patients.
Noted down some thoughts during my 4 days here. So I thought I'd share with you guys.

***

I've always regarded myself as a strong individual. Not physically, but mentally, although I do cry on occasions where dramas become too touching.

After my fall, I was admitted to the hospital for 6 days. I can tell you that during those 6 days I wasn't sad nor laden with worries. I knew the medical bill was already taken care of by both the company and my personal insurance. The doctor also assured that my body was working fine. The only thing on my mind was the wreck I caused. The broken ceiling and the still-leaking water tank.

I was thankful that I did not die nor become paralyzed. The only setback was the inconvenience that came with having a surgical wound. Simple things like bathing, wearing my clothes, walking became such a task to me.

Soon my back started aching, headaches developed and my wound wouldn't stop bleeding. Waking up from a lying position became such a painful experience. But soon the problem was resolved. I went to see the doctor and was given strong pain killers.

Things started to get better and I was relieved. Convocation was near and I felt so happy to be able to help Zin Mun and her bro collect their robes as well. It made me feel like I was normal again.

But then bad news came. My sister, whom was assigned to change my wound's dressing everyday told me the wound was becoming bigger and bigger. Went to see the doctor and it turned out I was allergic to the sutures. I had to be admitted again. Doctor told me that it will only be a 2, 3 days thing and so I kept my spirits up.

But one can only keep their spirits up only so long. Mum stayed in the hospital with me the 1st day. The 2nd day, she went home. That day, I really felt very sad. Because the doctor wanted to make sure the inner sutures would heal properly and that there will no longer be allergic reaction, he kept the wound open. (Meaning he did not stitch it up) I shudder at the thought of the nurse changing the dressing of the wound. It was painful.

From 2, 3 days it became 6 days. At first, the doctor said that he would stitch the wound up on Saturday and that I could be discharged on Sunday. Then he changed his mind. He would only stitch it up on Monday and I could only go home on Tuesday.

Again the fickle minded doctor changed his mind and he stitched it up yesterday. But still I could only return on Tuesday. I totally dread my time here.

I feel lonely and miserable. I just feel so victimized. All I wanted to do was to help my mother solve the problem of the leaking water tank. And it ended up with me fracturing my spine. I thought I was getting better, but I had to be admitted again. I really hate the hospital. I feel like a handicap.

This was written at my downiest moment. I never knew being hospitalized could be such a mental torture.

But only one thing kept me 'sane'. Some of you may not realized it, but a simple message asking how I was doing made me feel much better. And I thank you all for that.

Hmmm

2009-03-31T20:20:00.001+08:00

... looks like I'm on a streak of bad luck here.

For quite a number of days, my surgical wound have been bleeding. It was so bad that I had to sleep with a towel by my back.

This couple of days, it got worse. On top of bleeding, pus started coming out and the wound started to open with a rather massive opening. So I went to see the doctor today.

Turns out I might either be allergic to the inner sutures or that there is infection. Final result is, I have to be admitted to the hospital AGAIN, tomorrow noon.

Hopefully, everything would turn well soon.

Predicament of an hero

2009-03-20T10:41:00.003+08:00

While some of you may be unaware, I've been admitted to the hospital for the last 6 days. What happened was, I had a bad fall.

On one fine Saturday afternoon, the water tank on the ceiling decided to throw a fit. Before long, water was dripping all over the house. This was when the man of the house (that's me!) decided to take a ladder to climb up the ceiling. Being on top of the ladder, I couldn't exactly see what was wrong. And I took an awful step onto the ceiling.

Apparently, my weight was too much to hold and I fell onto the floor and fractured my spine. Following that was a surgery to my spine, an insertion of 4 screws to hold the bones in place for proper recovery.

Until now, the incident still feels so surreal. I still cannot believe this had happened to me. In fact, I haven't any memory of me falling down. All I remembered was me climbing up the ladder and the next thing was me in the hospital, with my friends by my side.

Phew ...

2009-03-14T05:04:00.002+08:00

Just got back home. It was soooo darn scary walking to the carpark. As you see, in order to save some bucks, I decided to park my car at the HELP open carpark. As it was ~~late at night~~ early in the morning, the only way to reach the parking lot was down a dilapidated staircase. It's like walking down into a dark and deserted open space, out of view from highways surrounding it. One word: Scary.

Many have said that audit is an extremely arduous job, but I didn't imagine it to be that tough. After only 2 weeks, I can tell you that I am already worn-out. For days I've returned home only at the wee hours and be back at work by 9 am.

But today or rather yesterday was an exception.

I heard the message tone on my phone. Still a little blur, I reached for my phone. Imagine my astonishment when the display screen showed 13:17. It was 1pm in the afternoon and I was still in bed !

I was already 1 day late from the due date, and I actually overslept. Moreover, I had set 2 alarms and still I stayed asleep. Ah, the tiredness has certainly gotten me.

Well, I better go, I am due for medical check-up at 8.30am.

Here Comes the Bride 2

2009-03-08T01:06:00.006+08:00

Looks like we're on a roll. Another member of the cowzen has gotten married ! In what like 4 months ? We're certainly on a roll. And it seems we're moving down from the eldest to the youngest.

*Gasp*

Will it soon be my turn ?
Wait, I do still need to get a boyfriend first.

The Lim Clan is growing bigger ...
Welcome Angie Ng !!!

Michelle, me and MsRedd
Just look at Michelle with her signature AirAsia pose.

I'm just so happy for them ...
Love is in the air ...

The Lim Cowzens' attempt to 'lala' pose

Such a Small World !

2009-03-03T23:49:00.002+08:00

I know I shouldn't be blogging at this hour. But since I have to wait for my hair to dry, might as well lah.

Previously in I wrote about 6 degrees of separation. And it's happening again !

If you have been reading my previous entries, I've just begun work on Monday. And who did I met at work ? It is none other than KayN. She's a college mate I acquainted in the HELP AIESEC camp. And guess what ? She was also a vacation trainee in the same department and group as I ! Only at a different period. But it's just such a coincidence !

And then today I was talking to another girl that happens to know Yi Mei ! They were from the same school and was in the same class for 3 years. What are the odds man !

Finally, I bumped into one of the 'school flower' of my confused school at work too ! And she still looks smoking hot ! It was deadly embarassing actually. When we crossed paths and our eyes met, I was kinda stunned in track. It was like I didn't know whether or not to say hello. Because I don't know whether she recognizes me.

That happened for quite a few seconds (I reckon I had the stunned look on my face too) until she decided to break the awkwardness by saying hello.

Somehow, girls born in 1985 are extra pretty. Serious ! From my observation, there are more pretty girls born in 1985 than 1986. To bring up a case, that 'school flower' has a sister one year younger than her. Probably due to the small gap in years, they look exactly the same. The truth ! I would show you the pictures, but it's kinda like intrusion into their privacy.

But although they look the same, they also don't look the same. Well, it is just that the younger one, though having exactly the same looks, is pale in comparison to her elder sister. Maybe it's the height factor or maybe it's just the way they bring themselves.

But I mean, such a small world right ?

Ok, really gtg Zzzzz ....

Another Phase

2009-02-28T04:41:00.003+08:00

February is creeping towards its end, marking the end of my holidays and life as a student. It is the beginning of another phase in my life, the working phase. Officially starting on 2 March 2009.

Can't believe I'm finally here. It always seemed so far away. Ah .... I seriously dread the 8-5 hours. Can you believe it ? We have to repeat this routine everyday till the age of 55 ...

Anyways, enough of the ramblings.

***

Something to look forward to next weekend: The wedding of my dear cowzen, Benjamin.

Introducing ...

The to-be weds
(Hope Ben wouldn't mind me stealing this photo from facebook)

So do look forward to wedding photos !

I Hope Not

2009-02-24T14:02:00.001+08:00

I hope not ... I hope not ...
I really hope not ... Please do not be ...

Oscar Material

2009-02-24T02:42:00.006+08:00

I've noticed that movies that win Oscars tend to be reality based, perhaps a depiction of a drug addict and sorts. These movies are mostly melancholic, so I never do enjoy them.

As I've had almost two months of holidays, I've put my time to 'good use' by watching 3 of such genre: Rachel Getting Married, The Visitor and Reign Over Me. Of these three, I actually enjoyed 'The Visitor'.

It is an intertwined story of an university professor who has lost his sense to life after the death of his wife and a couple who are illegal immigrants in the New York City. It also tells a tale of ignorance of the rights of illegal immigrants and racial discrimination.

'Rachel Getting Married' was good but I didn't quite enjoy it. Good because Anne Hathaway did a rather good job and the movie really depicts the problems that came with having a sister who is always in and out of the rehabilitation center.

'Reign Over Me' was good according to my sister, but I actually find it rather boring. It tells a story of a man who struggles to help an old college roommate, in dealing with the lost of his family in the September 11 attack. An interesting watch though, to see Adam Sandler in a non-comedy movie.

***

Today I went to watch 'The Curious Case of Benjamin Button'. I really liked the movie, and would have liked it more if not for my full bladder. Throughout most of the movie I was changing positions to better control my pee, I didn't want to miss any part of it and I also didn't want to disturb anyone by leaving my seat. (I was sitting right in the middle you see) But well, I still had to run to the toilet.

Boy was the movie long. Almost a whole 3 hours. Totally worth my RM 7 student price. Great movie, a must watch.

***

Recently, the hype has been on 'Slumdog Millonaire' or 'Q & A' (book title). In fact, it got an Oscar for Best Picture. Got myself the book. Not gonna watch the movie till I finish the book.

Meaningful

2009-02-22T02:13:00.005+08:00

***

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself.

I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many friends leave this world too soon, before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it should I choose to read or play computer until 4 am and sleep until noon ? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60s & 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk to the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But then again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car ?

But broken hearts are what give strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hairs could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've earned the right to be wrong.

I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

***

Read this in an email. This is the second time I've received it. And it came at the right time.

Take Care

2009-02-20T19:28:00.003+08:00

Just a while ago I received a message from a friend, "Going to airport now, tata !"

He was back here for almost 3 months, and I only met up with him thrice. Throughout those three times, we barely talked. Worse still, I didn't even initiated any of these gatherings.

Now he is gone, for a year, or maybe for good, since his parents have plans for him to obtain PR and to work there.

It's not like I'm busy. In fact, I have plenty of time. Which I spent watching tv and sleeping. I kept thinking he'd be here for a couple of months, there's plenty of time. But I've soon forgotten all about it, and before I know it, he's gone.

Though I know you don't read my blog, I still wanna wish you a safe journey and to take care. Do well as you always do !

Choices

2009-02-18T17:39:00.002+08:00

I always tell myself I should have done something this way or that way, that if I could go back I would have done it differently.

Maybe I should learn to believe that I have made the choices the best way I knew how, given the circumstances, and that makes me, me. That it's because of these decisions that I become me, and I would have it no other way.

Graduation Trip - Finale

2009-02-17T05:53:00.003+08:00

I guess I won't be writing about the final two days.

But if you would still like to read about it, you could go to Stories I Could Tell. It's the blog of my travel partner. She offers a rather comprehensive depiction of the final two days.

Verdict of the trip: 10/10 (because I had an awesome partner !) (Haha ... exaggerate a bit)
-Hong Kong is definitely heaven for food & shopping !
-Public transport is supreme !

Disappointments:
-I find some Hongkies rather rude. (And I thought Malaysians are the rudest)
-We did not managed to take perfect jumping shots.
-Didn't get to visit the Venetian Casino.
-Didn't get to try the artificial sharkfin's soup & Portuguese cuisines
-Spoiled a number of pictures due to my sucky photographic skills & unintentional show of my eh hem ... spare tyres.

Miss Moey

2009-02-09T01:19:00.006+08:00

In my 16 years of education, I have only met one teacher, that had inspired me the most. Her name is Miss Moey Yoke Lai, my principal of less than a year in Methodist Boy's school.

She gives the most inspiring speech ever. Never have I met someone, who spoke with such enthusiasm, every single time. She is the only principal, that I ever bothered to pay attention to during assemblies. Eventhough her speeches are usually really long, eventhough I had to stand for an hour under the morning sun.

Each time she spoke, I always feel energized to stop procrastinating and to start working hard for my STPM. Sadly though, my renewed energy normally lasts for only a fraction of the day, after of which I tend to fall back to my old self.

The things that she chooses to say, I've never heard any other person say this to us. The fire in her eyes and the tone of her voice, tells me she is really dedicated and determined to bring the best out of us.

For instance, I remember her saying: "It is already towards the end of the year. Have you been revising ? If not, buck up ! "

During her short tenure at MBS, she tried her best to do all she could for the school. For years, the project for the Centenary block had been put on hold, but when she became principal, she actually got Genting's Lim Kok Thay to donate, if I'm not mistaken, RM 2 million to the school, and that got the project started.

One of the most surprising thing I've heard about her, is about how she punishes students. One student, she punished him by asking him to come by her office, where she asked him to separate a bowl full of mixed green and red beans. Now, have you ever seen such punishment ? On TV maybe, but never in real life !

I was just reminded about her, when talking to my friends today. And I couldn't help but to feel inspired to be a little more enthusiatic about everything I do, to strive for the best and to do good to society.

***

When she sings the school song with us, she sings it with enthusiasm too.

mbs.mp3 -

" Go forward MBS
Filled with courage fine
With your colours flying
We will cheer you all the time
And so you go forward MBS
On to victory
Work for the fame of our fair name
Forward we must play the game
MBS ! MBS !
Play up ! Play up ! Play up ! "

Changeling

2009-02-08T23:55:00.002+08:00

... the best movie I've watched this year.

Listen now, though I'm no fan of Angelina Jolie, but I think she did a hell of a job.

The movie was absolutely intriguing. I had just finished watching it and right away it triggered me to write this post.

***

It tells of Christine Collins (Angelina Jolie), a single mother who came home to find her son lost. She filed for a police report, and months later they claimed to have found him. She took one look at the boy and told the police it wasn't her son, but the police insisted, in order to negate the bad publicity they had about corruption and their inability to solve cases.

As she continued to insist that the boy wasn't her son, bringing along the press and public attention, the police captain declared her mentally unstable and had her sent to a psychiatric ward.

The story is based on a true story, that happened in 1928. Watch it yourself, I'll stop with the details here, don't want to be a spoiler. Really, watch it.

Twice is enough

2009-02-07T12:13:00.003+08:00

About only 3 weeks ago, I reported about my car being nearly stolen.

Yesterday, I found it broken into AGAIN ... The second time in 3 weeks. On exactly the same quarter glass of the window !

C'mon lah, WHAT THE F*CK ? What is it with breaking into my car ?

Graduation Trip (Day 4)

2009-01-29T07:26:00.008+08:00

This was officially the boring-est day of all. Firstly because we had a lousy tour guide. (It's that complimentary half-day tour thingy again)

To begin with, it took her like forever to confirm the time and date of our tour. And she did not call to inform us as promised. We had to call her instead. Totally waste my phone credit. It's so freaking expensive ok to even sms overseas.

Secondly, she like tried to skip the tour to the Avenue of Stars. You see, we were telling her that we went to Avenue of Stars for the countdown and she jumped at the opportunity to skip it.

***

At 7.15 am, we were already at the hotel lobby waiting for the tour bus. It was freezing at that hour. First in the itinerary was Repulse Bay (浅水湾), one of the most expensive housing area in Hong Kong. Hell, even Jacky Chan lives there. In the mansion no. 99. (If I recall correctly)

We stopped at eastern end of the beach, where there is a Kwun Yam shrine, right at the beach, which is an uncommon sight.

As it was super cold, we just snapped a couple of shots and quickly return to the bus.

Next stop took us to Aberdeen (香港仔). Now this was where I felt completely cheated. The tour guide just told us to get onto the boat, giving us an implied assumption that it was paid for together with the tour. At the end of the cruise, we had to pay HK $55 (RM 25), for a tour around the harbour, which is nothing to shout about.

Aberdeen is where the famous Jumbo Floating Restaurant is located. This tourist spot has
attracted some of the most famous movie stars.

Boathouses, in which the fishermen live

The next destination was the Golden Bauhinia Square (金紫荊廣場). Located outside the Hong Kong Convention and Exhibition Centre, it marks the most significant event in Hong Kong's history: the return of Hong Kong, a former British colony to the People's Republic of China.

The above sculpture, the 'Forever Blooming Bauhinia' is a gift from China to mark this momentous day.

Next was a visit to the jewellery factory.

Jet Li

The Avenue of Stars.

After that, we had lunch and then we were on our own. Took this opportunity to have another round of 'Hui Lao Shan'.

All I can say is it was Yum-Yum.

We walked around and then headed to Central. This was because we wanted to go to the Peak. In fact, yesterday we went all the way to the Peak Tram station in vain as the queue was crazy.

Thinking that this day would be better, we found ourselves completely wrong. In the end, we took the taxi up. A short trip really, and it costs less than HK $50. My only regret is that I didn't get to experience taking the electric tram up the hill.

Needless to say, the view was splendid.

So came the end of the day. The remaining two days will be shorter posts, as it was pretty much shopping all the way.

Cowzen Power Gathering 2

2009-01-28T04:40:00.003+08:00

2 announcement 1st ...

Announcement 1: Happy Chinese New Year !

Announcement 2: Over Reunion Dinner, cousin Benjamin has announced he's GETTING MARRIED !!!

YAY !!!

***

On the 2nd day of Chinese New Year (yesterday), Malikuti made another effort to get the cousins together. This time we met for brunch.

This was the best gathering ever, we really got to talk and update each other on the current events of our lives. And the best part is, the meal was superb and FREE, compliments of the elder cousins. I love working cousins.

Graduation Trip (Day 3)

2009-01-24T09:50:00.001+08:00

The Third Day !

This day was the funnest of all, as we went to Ocean Park !

Ok, by now it would seemed to you that I've been wearing the same outfit in every single picture. Do not be fooled ! Well, actually yeah, I only brought along 2 pairs of jeans and a sweater. But I changed the shirt inside everyday ! I'm not dirty !

My traveling partner, on the other hand, seemed to have brought her whole wardrobe along ! I seriously don't know how many sweaters, jeans and scarves she brought along. Everyday like different style wun !

***

That morning, we woke up a little bit earlier and had breakfast at a nearby coffee shop. I really love their breakfast menu, everything seemed so yum-yum !

Anyways, after that we took the MTR to Admiralty (金鐘). There is a direct bus (Citybus 629) to Ocean Park there. Their buses are extremely efficient. We didn't have to wait long before we got onto a bus.

The journey took approximately 30 minutes. cr4zyb3autiful totally enjoyed herself sitting at the upper deck of the double decker bus.

The tickets per pax cost HK $208, about RM 95. Much expensive than Sunway Lagoon, but it was worth it. C'mon, you couldn't have gone to Hong Kong and not visit Ocean Park or Disneyland !

Upon entering, I must say they have done a good job creating a fun and family-oriented atmosphere. All around me I see eye-catching Christmas decorations with cheery musics blaring in the background. It was certainly uplifting, especially since Christmas is my favourite season of all.

Just as we were happily camwhoring with the decos, doing our jump shots, then came the release of foams, reproducing the effect of falling snows !

It was only for a brief moment, but we managed to snap this shot !

I don't really remember all the rides we got into, but I think first was a theme-based booth called Treasure Palace. Inside are those optic illusion stuffs, like mirror maze, rotating cylinder ... Nothing to shout about. We've got these kind of things back in Genting.

Then we took the Tai Shue Wan Escalator. It was a series of extremely long escalators.

If you have been to Sunway Lagoon, you would have certainly tried the ride where you would slide out from the snake's mouth, with water splashing all over that you'd be sure to get wet. They have this too in Ocean Park.

We did not attempt this ride as the weather was extremely cold. It was winter in Hong Kong FYI. But that day's weather was better, as around mid-noon, the sun's warmth was sufficient to take our sweaters off.

The Abyss

mazwah.blogspot.com

It was like Genting's Solero Space Shot, only much taller. At first, cr4zyb3autiful was a little reluctant to try it. But because of her undying love for me, she decided to give it a try. lol

I must say it was kinda scary. The moment it dropped, I felt like my heart had fell off my chest. And I was screaming, really screaming, that I was oblivious to the screams beside me. All I heard was my own scream.

The Dragon was another ride that seemed scary. I think there were 2 loops that gave us a few seconds of upside down moment. Well, the ride was short, and was not as scary as its looks gave it credit for.

There is one aspect that Ocean Park should be commended for. At rides where you can't bring your belongings along, for instance your backpack, they have a designated shelf for you. And whilst you are on the ride, the shelf would be covered with its installed curtains. That way, it kinda maintains the safety of your belongings.

And then ... well of course a visit to Ocean Park would not be complete without witnessing the Dolphin's performance.

It was a rather short performance, around 15 minutes I think, but was nevertheless entertaining.

Also, we tried the Flying Swing. Nothing special, just like the one in Genting.

However, the ride was rather long. It gets a little boring after some time. But I enjoyed swinging my legs in the air as it spins.

The Ocean Park Tower

Wanted to try this, but the queue was too long and we had very limited time.

Took the cable car which brought us to the other part of Ocean Park. You see the park is so huge that you have 2 separate entrance: The Tai Shue Wan entrance and the Main entrance.

The cable car ride lasted approximately 10 minutes.

The view was spectacular.

After that, we entered the Madagascar house.

And we met ~~Sook Yee~~ Gloria.

And because of cr4zyb3autiful's exceptional resemblance to Gloria, she was asked to be featured in the 'Move it' music video.

That stupid guy in red checkered shirt kacau-lah. Syiok sendiri.

Actually, she was dancing in front of a green screen, and then it was broadcasted onto the tv screen.

Time really flies when you are having fun. Before long, it was time to leave, as we had to catch the last bus back to Central at 4pm.

We headed to Lan Kwai Fong, the popular expatriate haunt in Hong Kong for clubbing, drinking and dining. Didn't visit any pub though, just took some pictures.

Did some jumping shots. Didn't get a good one though.
Yes, you gotta be thick-face in order to take some memorable photos.

Had dinner in Wellington Street, Central. At Yung Kee Restaurant. Yung Kee is famous for its roasted goose. Mind you, prices are not cheap.

Upon entering, nobody bothered to serve us. So we stood there like a stupid fool for quite a moment. And it was not like the waiters did not see us. When we were finally served, I personally feel that they were a little rude.

Poor as we are, we ordered only 2 dishes and shared.

First up was Wanton Mee. It tasted alright, but the soup was not the normal Wanton Mee soup. cr4zyb3autiful said that it had a hint of abalone taste.

Next was roasted goose and chicken with rice. Yes, it may look rather pathetic (especially with that piece of sawi), just like any other chicken rice you could get at a hawker stall, but the roasted goose was really nice, especially when dipped with its specially-made sweet sauce. (or was it sweet and sour?) Considering the fact that I'm no fan of roasted goose, because I feel that the meat tends to be rather rough, that you would need to chew longer before it could be swallowed. But the roasted goose here was tender and nice.

For desserts, we went to Hui Lao Shan. From the outside, it might look like those herbal drink shop that sells 'Guilin Jelly'. But in fact they are famous for their mango desserts. I tell you, their desserts are to die for. Seriously. It tastes as good as it looks.

Coconut milk with bird's nest

OMG, I really really really heart this dessert. Mmmm ... the milkiness.

Mango pieces, mango ice-cream and glutinous rice ball in mango puree

This was cr4zyb3autiful's and my favourite. The desserts were so delectable that we had them everyday since then, trying different varieties till we left Hong Kong.

***

Till my next update.

Graduation Trip (Day 2)

2009-01-20T23:50:00.005+08:00

Continuing from Day 1's post ...
So we were back at the hotel that fateful night. Imagine my astonishment when cr4zyb3autiful told me that she couldn't find the hotel card. Now, for those of you who doesn't know her, she's like the keeper within the Bitch Clan. You see, she would always be entrusted with our movie tickets, hotel cards or whatever important documents.

Ha ! It seems that her reputation does not hold true ya ? Muahahaha ...

Thankfully, the hotel gave us 2 hotel cards and she decided to let me keep one.

So back at the hotel, we were searching frantically for the missing hotel card but to no avail. We decided that she might have dropped it at the Yi Shun dessert store, where we had the milk curds.

So we called them the next day. Nope it wasn't there.

We were worried that we might be fined for losing the card. So she started devising ingenious strategies to find out how much is the fine without already reporting that we've lost it and ways to get us off the hook. Haha, you'd be surprised to know how 'resourceful' she could be. Anyways, all went well and we were not fined.

***

Alright, the second day we went for a half-day tour around Macau (inclusive in our ground arrangement package). As we waited at the hotel lobby, we were expecting for some chinese man or woman as our tour guide.

To our surprise, a Caucasian man came to us and introduced himself as Mario. He is born Portuguese but have migrated to Macau for over 20 years. Proud of his nation, he kept on blabbering on how the Portuguese discovered Malacca, Macau and many other places.

A straight-forward guy, I must say, one who could easilly offend people, but nevertheless a great tour guide. Oh and he speaks rather good Cantonese, much better than some Chinese I know. cough *Christine* cough

First stop was the Kun Iam statue (Goddess of Mercy). Located on a man-made island at the outer harbour, this statue is 20 metres tall and made of special bronze. According to our tour guide, it is the only Kun Iam statue made to face the city instead of the ocean as it would normally be. This was because some Feng Shui master said it would only be prosperous this way.

As it seems, his words had been true. The statue was erected in 2002, after of which Macau has grown rapidly, evident by the increase in the number of casinos.

Bridge connecting Taipa island and the peninsular.

After receiving the blessings of Kun Iam, the tour took us to a spot along the edges of the island for a scenic view of Macau Tower and the Penha Church.

Stupid photographer took the picture before I was ready. Made it looked like I was trying to kiss her. Does the tower look familiar ? You'd remember this tower from Amazing Race Asia 3.

Penha Church

Every year, on the 13th of May, thousands of pilgrims join the image of Our Lady of Fatima for a procession and pilgrimage. Our Lady of Fatima is the title given to the vision of blessed Virgin Mary by those who believe that she appeared before three shepherd children at Fatima, Portugal on the 13th day of six consecutive months in 1917 starting on 13th of May.

Santo Domingo Church

The procession begins from Santo Domingo church and ends in the courtyard of Penha Church.

Next, we went to the A-Ma Temple. This temple is how Macau got its name. It was said that when the Portuguese sailors landed in Macau, they asked for the name of the land, which the natives misunderstooded, thinking that they were asking for the name of the temple, and they answered 'A-Ma-kok' (Bay of A-Ma). The sailors however, pronounced the word 'kok' as 'cau' and so came the name Macau. (If I did not recall wrongly)

The A-Ma temple is the oldest temple in Macau. It was constructed in 1488 of the Ming Dynasty, to commemorate Mazu, the sacred sea goddess who blesses the fishermen of Macau.

Within walking distance from the temple, is the famous bakery 'Koi Kei' (I'm not sure whether it's famous actually, it's what the tour guide said)

The bakery sells a selection of flavoured barbequed meat, Macau's famous cookies like the almond cookies, wife & husband's cakes and portuguese tarts.

I like the portuguese tarts here better. The taste of the eggs is more milky and the crust is extra flaky and buttery.

We had complimentary buffet lunch at Holiday Inn.

Here, cr4zyb3autiful found her first love. The driver of the Rolls Royce. At first she actually wanted to dive into the car and camwhore with him. Luckily I managed to stop her in time.

After lunch was the craziest rush ever. You see, we were supposed to take the ferry to Hong Kong earlier, as most of the roads in Hong Kong would be closed due to the New Year's Eve celebrations. So we couldn't complete the tour which include entering a designated casino in Macau. Thus, our last stop became the St. Paul's Ruins.

St. Paul Ruins

Once the tour bus stopped, we were literally running to the ruins without the tour guide. We snapped a couple of pictures and quickly ran back to the bus to get our luggage. When our so-called driver came, we were running while dragging our luggage towards the van. It was already 3.30 pm then and our ferry was leaving at 4.15 pm.

You will remember this place from the TVB drama 'Return of the Cuckoo' (澳门街), where Uncle Hoi Keng passed away.

To make matters worse, the roads leading to the main roads was extremely narrow, like those streets in Petaling Street, allowing only one lane of cars and there was a massive traffic jam. Luckily, we still made it on time. We were at the ferry terminal at 4.05 pm.

The cruise from Macau to Hong Kong took a little more than an hour due to bad weather.

Finally we were at Hong Kong. My only regret is that I didn't get to see the Venetian Casino. Can you imagine it ? Going to Macau and not visit a single casino ? Hmmph.

We stayed at the Dorsett Far East Hotel, Tsuen Wan. I doubt you can see how small the room is from this picture, but I can tell you it's extremely small. Even smaller than the First World hotel. But of course the bathroom is not as pathethic as First World's though.

After we've set our luggage down, we took the MTR to Tsim Tsa Tsui station. We got ourselves the Octopus card, available at HK $150, with storage value of HK $100 and a returnable deposit of HK $ 50. It functions exactly like the Touch & Go but is way more convenient. It can be used at the MTR station, on public buses, on electric trams, at most stores and you can even use it to give donations.

Imagine buying mineral water at 7 eleven. You just pass the mineral water to the cashier and after he/she have scanned it, place your Octopus card at the scanner and ... voila ! You are ready to go. So bloody convenient.

Ok so at Tsim Tsa Tsui, we randomly picked a Chinese diner for dinner. Now in Hong Kong, no matter what restaurant I went to, the food is always rightly flavoured. The soup is never too bland or too salty. And I always feel that the food has just the right ingredients.

I ordered Beef Balls with noodles while cr4zyb3autiful ordered Wanton Mee. Of course we also had Hong Kong's famous milk tea. The noodles is cooked to al dente, the beef balls are huge and springy and the soup has just enough saltiness. (Though cr4zyb3autiful reckons it was a little bit too salty).

After dinner, we walked to the Avenue of Stars, the site along the harbor overviewing the Hong Kong island. It is the place to be on New Year's Eve, to witness the fireworks being released from buildings on the Hong Kong island, when the clock strikes 12.00 am.

We were there around 8 pm, and it was already really packed.

Waiting for 12 am was incredibly painful. It seemed like time dreaded the coming of 2009. Although there were many people around us, giving the right atmosphere, but there weren't any performances. So it was kinda boring.

Luckily, we were granted with a Caucasian eye-candy who sat right beside me. And so staring at him became our sole entertainment.

Before long, we were counting down to 12 am. And then ...

It gets a little boring after a while.

The countdown was not as happening as I thought it would be. Maybe it's cause we couldn't really hear the fireworks. Or maybe it's cause the cheerings weren't as loud as it is in KL. And the crowd dispersed almost immediately after the fireworks.

Yeah, so the New Year's countdown was a little disappointing.

Going back was such a task. The crowd was crazy ! Getting to the MTR station alone took almost 10 minutes. Then, getting from the MTR station entrance into the MTR took another 25 minutes.

And that was Day 2. Stay tuned for Day 3.

Graduation Trip (Day 1)

2009-01-16T20:54:00.005+08:00

It was my debut overseas trip without the parents. Initially meant to be a trip of three, it became a trip of two. In fact, it was nearly canceled. A trip of many challenges but it made it all that precious.

The trip was a 6 days 5 nites trip to Hong Kong. First stop was Macau, land of casinos. We had booked the air tickets way back in February 2008 when AirAsia had their promotion. It costs only RM 179. Such a deal right ?

Sands Casino

Anyways, so we were at the LCCT airport and about to enter the boarding gate. Gee, I didn't know that Malaysia has become a rather technology savvy country. To check-in or whatever it is called, there is a choice of automated and manual entry. As it was the first time I traveled overseas via AirAsia, I didn't how it worked.

Ah, the land of casinos

Basically, you just need to insert your passport into a designated pocket and press your thumb onto the scanner and then you are ready to go !

It was kinda embarrassing when I didn't know how it worked. To make matters worse, I also went to the machine that was not working, so I was kinda trapped inside.

M-A-L-U-nya.

***

On the plane

The flight to Macau took approximately 4 hours. After we collected our baggage, we proceeded to the arrival hall. Our so-called driver was already there to pick us up. I don't know how they made it out, but they asked us whether there are 6 peoples. Apparently, my name plus cr4zyb3autiful's name added up to become 6 people ! And we're in a Chinese country with chinese names. Hmmph.

The Macau International Airport is located on the Taipa Island of Macau. Our hotel however, is situated on peninsular Macau. Yet it took only less than half an hour to reach the hotel.

The MetroPark hotel was much spacious than we thought it to be. It had a mini living room, an ok-sized tv and bathroom. Much better than the hotel we stayed in Hong Kong, which you will later see.

After settling down, we headed out for dinner. Our destination was Senado Square. Now, here is why you need to come prepared for a trip. We weren't sure what bus to take, where the bus stop is and where to get taxis. So we had to ask around.

In the end, we took the taxi. Their taxis are all Toyota Corolla, which is kinda like an above-average car in Malaysia. Once you enter the taxi, the flagfall charge is already MOP $13.00. That's around RM 6. Pricy ? Yes.

Actually, it wasn't really a distance from our hotel to Senado Square. By foot, I think it took around 20 minutes. (We walked back to our hotel later that night)

The Christmas spirit was still very much alive. And with the cold weather and the colorful decorations along the streets, I'm sure it would be wonderful to spend Christmas here.

But what I loved the most about Senado Square was its floors. The wavy design is absolutely stunning.

Along the streets of Senado Square, you will find lots of shopping boutiques and street foods. While you are there, one must-try chow is the two-layer milk curd. One popular place to try it is: Yi Shun.

We opted for the famous hot two-layer milk curd (热驰名双皮燉奶) (MOP $16) and hot ginger milk curd (热巧手姜汁撞奶) (MOP $18).

Personally, I prefer the two-layer milk curd, as it has an extremely rich milk taste. Cr4zyb3autiful on the other hand, preferred the ginger variety.

Another must-try food in Macau is the pork-chop bun. The popular place for it is Restaurant Victoria, but since we didn't have the time to travel there, we just randomly picked a hawker selling it at Senado Square.

It wasn't exactly to die for, but I like the crunchy texture and salty taste of the pork chop.

Well of course we didn't go off without trying the portuguese tart. We bought them from the same stall as the pork chop bun. It was rather small, but I like the flaky and buttery crust. Cr4zyb3autiful prefers the portuguese tarts back at home, but I beg to differ. You will see portuguese tarts again on Day 2, this time from a famous bakery in Macau.

After we have satisfied our cravings, we took a walk back to our hotel. Along the way, we passed by many breath-taking views of ... Casinos !

Grand Lisboa

So that was Day 1.

Nearly stolen

2009-01-16T06:48:00.002+08:00

This morning my car nearly got stolen, with me in the living room watching tv.

At around 4am, the car alarm went off. At first I thought that it could be the neighbors, as I often hear car alarms go off. But then I could hear that the noise seem to be rather near, and so I decided to check.

Just as I approached the panel door to open the curtains, I heard a motorbike riding off.

After I turn off the alarm, I looked at the car from the house and it looked fine. So I thought it to be a false alarm, as it had happened once.

It was until my mum drove the car to the lrt station that she realized the window had shattered but yet to be broken. The alarm had really done its work. It frighten the perpetrator before more damage could be done.

But I cannot believe that I was wide awake and in the living room when the incident happened. Right in my very presence.

I don't know whether cars are generally installed with such alarms, but for my car we had installed the alarm so that even when you use a coin to tap the windows, the alarm would go off. I think this is really necessary, as one could easily break your windows, steal your radios and stuffs and not turn on the alarms.

The aftermath

So be on a look-out guys !

Old Songs

2009-01-10T00:38:00.004+08:00

Recently, I started listening to songs from one or two years ago and then I realized, 'Gee, I tend to attach many events and emotions to music'.

For instance, today I was listening to 'Irreplaceable' by Beyonce, and it reminded me of the one-month Fitness First trial I signed on to. And with that lots of other memories came flowing into my mind. While Nat King Cole's 'The very thought of you' draws upon scenes from the adapted movie 'Tuesdays with Morrie'.

Now, what does the lyrics below reminds you of ?

***

The moment I wake up, before I put on my make up
Say a little prayer for you

***

Doesn't that remind you of a best friend, a special someone or perhaps weddings ?

Ah, the power of music.

Super intimidated, terrified

2009-01-09T01:00:00.003+08:00

OMG ... It's now 1 am ... and I just realized that I'm super unprepared for tomorrow's interview. I have certainly underestimated the interview.

I just did some research on the interview and guess what ? There are four lines of interview which is pretty intensive.

Interview 1: Interview with HR personnel. (The one I'm attending tomorrow)
- Will be asking lots of questions about the bank such as: who is the chairman, ceo, what is the difference between consumer and islamic banking etc ...
- Write 2 essays

Interview 2: Aptitude test

Interview 3: Presentation on a given topic
- My god, check out one topic given to a recent management trainee !
Seize growth opportunities via regionalization. Asia’s financial service landscape is undergoing tremendous change and evolution. Share with us potential country and business area worth further considerations.

Interview 4: Interview with the HR director herself !!!

OMG, can I even pass the 1st interview ?

DIE HARD M00NIE ....

Back to work.

I'm Back !

2009-01-05T05:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS !!!

I'm back from Hong Kong ! Just touched down at my home sweet home at 3.00 am.
After 6 days, 5 nights of traveling, the aftermath is chapped lips, cracked heels, muscle pains all over, super dry skin, and super-duper dry wallet.

Details on the trip will come in a while, just give me some time to gather the pictures taken.

Well, I've got a thesis presentation in a couple of hours, it will mark my final FINAL examination before graduation. Till I next see you, ciaoz !

Some of the Best Movies

2008-12-28T02:00:00.003+08:00

... I've watched are:

1. Bicentennial man (The android who wants to be human)
2. Titanic (Who could forget 'you jump, I jump' ?)
3. Meet Joe Black (Death, who fell in love)
4. Artificial Intelligence or A.I (Robotic boy who seeks the love of his human mother)

These are movies I could watch over and over again and yet still cry over it. Also, they offer some of the best soundtracks I've ever heard.

So, if you have the time, why not catch one of these ?

This Christmas

2008-12-25T03:56:00.003+08:00

... was a Christmas I wasn't really excited about.
I just feel that the magical feeling has cease to exist. Probably because I've grown up or that people around me have changed.

Moreover, quite a number of LimClan members were unable to attend today's party. And well, MsRedd will be leaving Malaysia soon for good. She's one cousin that I've recently grown fond of, so the prospect of her absence in every other gathering in the future seems like a bleak prospect. So Christmas seemed quiet.

Anyhow, it turned out quite well. Well, I got to really chat with a number of people in the party. My eldest cousin, Jerry, gave me lots of encouragement and advice about my future career prospects. He made me understand that academic results are not everything. Even if I feel less than worthy, I should always try. It's okay to be rejected, just try again.

And then I had a long chat with Godpa. He told me how he actually got to meet and adopt Ashley. According to him, my youngest cousin had been rejected many times by many families, who refused to adopt her because of some medical history.

It would seem like she's an unwanted child, and if she had the sense to comprehend this, she would surely feel really bad, as if like she's so unworthy of love. However, it's because of those initial rejections that cause her to land at my Godfather's arms and to receive all the love he is giving to her.

Perhaps rejections are meant for better things in life.

***

This Christmas, I am grateful, for I've spent it with those who matter. Friends and family that I care for.

Merry Christmas !

One moment

2008-12-20T20:51:00.002+08:00

Following yesterday's post, I went to bed at 6 am and woke up at 6 pm. Now that's really some sleep. My sister was already prepared to call my prince to come kiss me.

Perhaps what I needed was just sleep.
It is enough just to worry about today. Tomorrow's worry should be left for tomorrow.

It's over !

2008-12-20T04:44:00.003+08:00

My finals are finally over !!!!
I am now almost a graduate. Why almost ? Because I still have a thesis presentation on the 5th of January 2009 (can you believe it's gonna be 2009 already ?) and well, I still don't know my results yet don't I ? Who knows I might fail one of the subjects ? Then it'd be no graduation for me.

The minute I handed in my paper, I really had this moment of a sense of relieve. Well, it did not last long. I went to bed just now all sleepy only to find myself rolling around on the bed for like an hour. And now, I feel mentally tired yet at the same time wide awake.

I am beginning to worry about my future. Mum has been pestering me for like a month to start applying for jobs but I ignored her as I was busy preparing for my assignments and thesis. Now that everything is finally over, well, I dunno, I just feel like I am not very employable.

I feel like I had never really worked hard during the course of my undergraduate studies and I feel so undeserving of being offered a job. I'm worried about interviews, where there might be possibilities that technical questions might be posed, and I'd certainly fail miserably.

It's just that Mum has such high hopes, and I fear that I might have to disappoint her. And I blame myself also, for being so lazy despite knowing her expectations.

It's like she hears from her sister about how well her daughter had performed, and it saddens me that I can't be that daughter for her.

I just feel really really stressed up.

Counting Down

2008-12-17T02:52:00.004+08:00

It has FINALLY come down to this. 2 more days and we'll be free as birds.

Actually, more like entering another cage, the cage of the working world !

Give Up ?

2008-12-10T22:09:00.002+08:00

Perhaps in biographies of many great entrepreneurs, we would see that the process to success would be one that involves many falls, in which they persevered into becoming what they are today.

Through the journey, they might have endured having not a single cent in their pockets, or making just enough to survive today. It certainly is no easy plight.

In this voyage, many people around them would have told them to give up. But if they had heeded such words, they would not have become the millionaire or billionaire they are today.

In spite of this, is there this thing of knowing when to give up ? What if this expedition eventually leads to no where ? Your plight is never only your concern. It affects many people around you. The kind of worry they have to go through is not only of their own welfare but also yours.

I can only hope for the best.

On the Phone

2008-12-10T01:28:00.003+08:00

These days of MSN, Skype and ICQ (does anyone still use this?), do you still chat on the phone ? Ever since form 3 or form 4, I think I've never called anyone up just to chat. This is partly due to the innovation of MSN and mostly due to my infamous disability.

Today I was chatting on MSN with a friend of mine for an hour or so. No doubt we had lots to talk about, but it would never be the same if it was on the phone. I feel that in a chatroom, you are given that gap to think about what to say next, yet on the phone, that gap would be total silence on both ends. And that's certainly an awkward moment.

Anyway, as we were chatting, my friend was also on the phone with another friend. Now that a whole new definition to multi-tasking. Wow, they could really talk so long. I left the conversation for a loooong bath, but came back with them still on the phone.

Actually I kinda envy those kind of friendship. It's like you can be so comfortable with this person that you could just talk about whatever and not fear about boring the other party.

Anyhow, before I contracted this disability, I had this one friend whom I had a record of being on the phone with her for 6 whole hours ! I seriously don't know how we managed that. It's like we could talked about just anything and I had no qualms about revealing to her almost every single thoughts I had. I could even ask her questions like 'do you think I'm fat ?' Which is such a taboo question, well at least to me lah.

An Uncanny Encounter

2008-12-04T01:04:00.002+08:00

Back in my Form 6 days, I tend to meet lots of uncanny characters. Some actually scares me but most are just people I find amusing. Talking to them is actually kinda refreshing. In fact I find it relaxing, I need not be careful of my words and I can be a little crazy.

Well yesterday I talked to one such person. I was kinda having a bad day. Plans I've made long long time ago are crumbling bits by bits.

So this person said ' hello, how was your day ? '

I answered something like 'it was ok'. And the next message came as: " The sky didn't fall down what, why so pessimistic ? "

That was just what I needed. A simple sentence, but it placed a stop to all the negative thoughts I was conjuring. Almost immediately, things does not seem all that bad anymore.

Sometimes things you need might just come from the most unusual places.

I May Not Know

2008-12-02T22:36:00.004+08:00

***

I may not know many words of encouragement,
I may not know the right words;
But know this,
You have been on my mind ever since it happened.

I wish I was a little more concerned that fateful day,
If not, I could ... I could ...
I wish I knew what to say.
I wish I could take all your troubles away.

Though I may not ask much,
It does not mean that I care not.
It's just ... perhaps somethings are better left unsaid ?

***

Dangerous world we live in

2008-12-01T04:18:00.005+08:00

Just the other day, I was on the phone with Christine in the storeroom. It was a mere 5 minutes call, but when I went back into the living room, my mum was like in shock. She said that a man came into the house compound (our outside gate was unlocked you see). She was overly engrossed by the tv that she didn't even notice someone entering through the gate and into the compound.

The man announced himself as the police. He asked whether we were the house that was robbed. Turns out he went to the wrong house. The right house was just a few houses away but on the same row. He claimed that the house was robbed of RM 70,000 !

Imagine that, just a few houses away someone was robbed. It could have easily been us. Though I doubt they can get that amount of value from us. They'd probably murder us for being overly poor that it was a wasted effort trying to rob us.

Thus, I heed all to be extra cautious nowadays. You can never be too careful.

***

It's only another 19 days. Just a little more than 2 weeks and I'd be free ! So I need to focus, give up a little fun, a little sleep and I'd never live to regret this 2 weeks !

Out of procrastination

2008-11-23T02:29:00.002+08:00

Why the hell do we have to do a thesis to graduate?

The floor around me is currently littered with heaps of hair from the excessive scratching of my head. I'm tearing my head out trying to figure out how to finish this bloody thesis.

Well, I reckon I'm a master in handling stress. Despite the time-constrain, I still managed to keep up with my drama series and updating this blog. Oh gosh, I'm such a lazy bum-bum.

Back 2 work ...

Some announcements

2008-11-21T04:32:00.004+08:00

PTPTN has announced the reduction of PTPTN loan interest from 3% to 1 % per annum. However, the new rate will no longer be based on a reducing rate. Instead it will now be based on a flat rate. Click <here> to view the statement.
According to mum, they would be sending out the new agreement in December.

***

Petrol prices have decreased to RM 2.00/litre ! Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Shahrir have indicated a possibility for further reduction. Another 15 cent reduction translates to cheaper petrol than before the petrol hike began (RM 1.92/litre). Now mum would certainly have to keep mum (see mothers are addressed as mums because they should keep quiet haha) about me driving the car too much.

That's two good news welcoming my debut into the working world !

Here comes the Bride

2008-11-17T00:02:00.023+08:00

*Small talk: Oh no, Raymond Lam did not get the Best Actor Award in this year's TVB Awards Presentation. However, he was the only person who got 2 awards ! Favorite Male Character award and Most Viewed Blog award.*

November 15 was my cousin, Jerry's wedding.

Jerry, me & Serene (the bride)

Can't believe that the very same cousin whom always disturb me, whom I used to refer as 'pimple boy' is already married. Makes me feel so old. It seems like it wasn't too long ago that all 10 of us cousins had cuddled together in Ah Mah's room every school holidays.

The day of the wedding started early. At 10.30 am, I was already at my uncle's place. We were there to witness the 'Cham Cha' session. This is where the bride and groom would pay respect to the elders by presenting them with a cup of Chinese tea. In return, the elders would present their blessings in the form of 'Ang Paus' (red packets) to the bride and groom.

Although it was scheduled to begin at 10.30 am, naturally we did it the old Malaysian style. The groom only arrived at around 11.30 am with the bride.

The arrival of the bride.

Gosh, I didn't know that my voice is that irritating.

'Cham Cha Session'

Then it was my turn to 'Cham Cha'

Haha, we totally sucked at the Chinese custom. Nobody was sure about how to correctly address the elders. Because in our family, all male elders are uncles and all female elders are aunties.

Godma & Godpa (Jerry's parents), Uncle Jeffrey and Auntie Janice

After that, we had lunch and just mingled around.

Come 2 something, MsRedd, Vanimon and me took leave to the hotel. We had to be there earlier to make some last minute preparations for the wedding. Actually, I just tagged along, I was only in charged of registration and the collection of angpaus. (Suddenly I feel richer, muahahaha)

My Workstation

This was the backdrop in the ballroom. It is supposed to be the interior of the Putra LRT. A very meaningful story behind it, which I will narrate in a moment.

Every table was named after the Putra stations' name: KL Sentral, Bangsar, Ampang Park, KLCC ...

You see, Jerry met Serene on the LRT. He was always on his Ipod, while Serene (the nerd, haha) was always reading a book. Although both of them always seemed busy doing their thing, each had notice one another. Then Jerry started to make sure that he was punctual, so that he could take the very same lrt that he knew Serene would be on. Slowly, they started dating. And now, they are married ! How unlikely !

Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought that you could actually marry someone you see in the lrt. It's like how do you make the first move ? And even if that person makes the first move, would you go out with him/her ?

The Family

Anyhow, in my cousin's case, it has become a happily ever after. (I guess I should start taking lrt again, muahahaha)

Ken & me

Then there was the throwing of bouquet session. This was for all single women. So bad lah my family members, kept forcing me to go out. See, they assume that I'm single. Maybe I'm not leh?

Congratulations Jerry & Serene !

Eventually

2008-11-11T00:41:00.003+08:00

So mum was talking to me just now. As usual, she complains about having so many things to do, that employees keep leaving but the company refuses to get new staffs, thereby increasing her workload. Then there are customers that kept calling, the telephone refuses to stop ringing and how she was irritated with the customers, the boss and almost everyone except me.

Then came her worries about the future. That the company may be downsizing, what if they lay her off ? How could she find a job at the age 50 ? At 48, she sent out lots of application letter and receive no reply, what more at 50 ?

Like her, I'm worried too. How am I supposed to vomit 7000 words of assignments in less than 2 weeks ? I'm also disappointed and regretful too. How did I end up with only less than 2 weeks when I was given more than 3 months to prepare. 2 words, laziness and procrastination. What kind of quality work can I produce in such a short period ?

However, time and time I've been faced with such situations, when the task at hand seemed almost impossible. Yet I always get through.

There is no use being miserable now. I should not think about it being impossible. Rather, tell myself there is still chance. Eventually, I'll get through.

Just like mum's worries, I've heard it like so many years already. But we're still here. We did not die.

***

Found this remedy for procrastination in Andrew Mattrew's 'Being a Happy Teenager'.

We sometimes think, "when I feel more enthusiastic, I'll do my homework." Wrong.

'You get the energy and enthusiasm for the job after you begin. You get the energy as a result of your involvement. The secret is to make a start.'

Happy Birthday Naoki !

2008-11-10T20:21:00.010+08:00

November 7 was his birthday. We decided to celebrate at Izzi as they are currently having this crazy promotion.

Unlike previously, you don't need to have a particular kind of credit card to enjoy these discounts.
Large pizzas go for only RM 10 ++ ! That's even cheaper than Pizza Hut or even Dominos. And pastas, only RM 6 ++ !!! It's so goddamn cheap.

We each ordered a main course dish and shared two large pizzas. The bill only came up to RM 18 per person, taking into consideration that the amount includes the birthday boy's portion. Take note though that drinks are charged at regular prices.

***

Anyways, we had great fun mingling around and chatting. Haha, especially the part where we were joking about Yuen Ting. That was so funny.

Save for the part we couldn't decide where to go after dinner, I know that the birthday boy was a little pissed off. Sorry that it did not turned out as perfect as you had wished it to be. I hope that you enjoyed yourself though.

***

Thanks for being by my side. You have been the best friend I could ever have.

I could tell you anything and you would not judge me.
I could tell you my problems, and it'd almost become yours.

I wish you all the best in your future undertakings.

Happy Birthday, 汉良 !

One Chance

2008-11-05T22:46:00.002+08:00

is all I had and I blew it ? M00nie oh M00nie ... why can't you control your emotions better ?

Never mind, it shall be a lesson to me. I can be a better person this way.

***

Corporate Finance assignment due on 19/11
Thesis due on 24/11 (and that's considering if I don't pass up the 1st draft)
So I've gotta finish this by at least the 19/11, show it to the supervisor, so that it leaves me some time to make amendments.

I've really got to buck up.

Gambatei M00nie ! Gambatei cr4zyb3autiful !

***

On a lighter note, eldest cousin Jerry's getting married on the 15th. Can't wait to attend the wedding !

To Ms Wu

2008-11-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

To the most Lan Ci face I've ever seen:

I have a confession to make. Your face sometimes ignite huge urges from many to slap it. I'm sorry to say you have a very SLAPPABLE face. As your friend, it has been almost unbearable having to deal with such a face everyday. Being by your side, I sometimes fear that I may easily be a victim of slapping too.

In spite of that, you have certainly light up my university days. It has always been such a pleasure reminiscing about the silly things we've done together. Because of you, I have certainly had lots of practice on the extremely challenging skill of cam-whoring.

I love that you are a friend that could be my friend eventhough you already have a special someone. God, you would even spend ~~Valentine's~~ Singles' Day with us! And that's extremely hard to come-by.

I'm sorry that we could not celebrate your birthday with you today.

Anyhow, have a Happy Birthday ! nevertheless.

Dear Alex

2008-10-30T21:14:00.006+08:00

Was reading (her) blog. It started with ' Dear Alex, ... '

As I read on, I wondered who she was talking about. Suddenly, it dawned on me. Read (Madagascar) to understand.

***

Dear Alex,

It indeed made me smile while mesmerizing those days that we once had. I must admit, I miss them a lot. I miss you even more. It's sad that now I'm typing this, I have to use the word "those days". Those days when we all did silly things together. Those days when we had pillow talk and share our hearts, although we weren't cuddling any pillow =p Those days that we were so spontaneous with our actions and teasing each other with names without fearing being offended as we're known to be "thick face" *smile* Those days, you accompanied me through my tough times. Those days when we hunt for yummy food together. Those were the days .....

I'm sorry, this word that I long to say to you. I'm sorry for not showing my gratitude on what you've done for me. Not knowing it until I loss a true friend who will go miles just for me. For I never really had a true friend before, I'm so embarrass to have forsake you. I'm truly sorry and I want you to know now and always will, I appreciate the things that you've done. Picking me up even before dawn breaks, giving me surprises, making me giggle and laugh my last high school years away.

I did remember, last month was your birthday! All along, your birth date had been set in my mind and my phone. Knowing that, I did not call or greet you happy birthday. I wanted to, but taken aback. Knowing you had even better times now without me.

If only I could........ I will surely........ (I guess everythings too late that now you hav...)

Happy Belated Birthday Alex!!

With love,

Gloria

***

I feel like crying.

Less Critical

2008-10-22T17:34:00.011+08:00

This month I couldn't stop thinking about all the unwise decisions I made and my clumsiness that resulted in me spending unnecessary money.

To begin with, there was that incident about photostatting. Then I bought some stuffs I didn't need which turned out to be a defect and I ended up throwing it. I also bought those yarns extra expensive. If only I had just open my mouth and ask.

I also dropped my right contacts which I had just started wearing a few days only. I couldn't stop counting the number of times I've dropped them and the amount of money I've wasted.

Yes, I'm crying over split milk. But I just can't help it. I need to be less critical of myself.

***

Watched this in the newest season of Boston Legal. Love this argument. Couldn't have put it better. It kinda ignite my old aspiration to be a lawyer. Should let Dad watch this.

"Everybody in this room knows somebody, who has fought this same battle and died this agonizing, brutal, excruciating. But emotion has no play here.

Michael Rhodes was 11 years old when he started smoking. It was 1948. At that time,there was no known risk, and even if there were,at 11, he certainly lacked the capacity to assume it. And after that,he was addicted.

They manufacture them to be addictive. In just the last few years, they've increased the amount of nicotine in the average cigarette by 11.6% to make them even more addictive. Recently,we learned that tobacco companies have been adding an ammonia-based compound to cigarettes for years to increase absorption of nicotine. It's basically the same principle used in crack cocaine.

And let's look at the obscene strategy they've employed here. 'Smoking may cause cancer, but it didn't cause this particular cancer. It wasn't our cigarettes or it was genetic or asbestos or a paper mill.' Never do they take responsibility, ever.

And god forbid-- If you sue them,they'll bury you and your lawyer. They might even depose your doctor to death for good measure.

All their insidious methods and cunning corporate tactics aren't just history. It's what they continue to do now, today, because the tobacco industry is like a nest of cockroaches. They will always find a way to survive. They still go after kids with one strategy after another. They put up brightly colored ads at kids' eye level in convenience stores. They hire gorgeous twenty somethings to frequent popular venues and seduce young adults into attending lavish
corporate-sponsored parties.

Cockroaches will always find a way. They can't advertise on tv, but they've hired PR Agencies to hook them up with the film industry, and it's worked. Researchers estimate that smoking in movies delivers nearly 400,000 new adolescent smokers every year.

Every time you try to kill the cockroach, it finds another way. It has to, because when you make a product that kills off your consumers, you have to find a way to recruit new customers.

They've now got a new feminized version of the macho camel brand, using slogans like, 'light and luscious,' uh,with hot pink packaging. Uh, Virginia Slims advertised their "thin" cigarette. "Allure" magazine did a whole spread on the cigarette diet.

They use social and psychological profiling, targeting potential smokers by gender, ethnicity, sexual preference, socioeconomic groups. Cockroaches don't discriminate.

Their C.E.O. comes into this courtroom gloating over their anti-smoking campaign, which is designed to get kids to smoke. In 2005, they spent more than $15 billion on advertising and promotion. That's a 225% increase from 1998, and they have the audacity to declare they're trying to discourage smoking.

This is not how corporations with a conscience behave. How in god's name are cigarette's even legal? Can anybody tell me that? They are a deadly concoction of carcinogens that damage every single organ in your body. Why do we not ban them? Because it's a free country? Because freedom of choice is an American ideal worth somebody dying every six seconds?

How can any company, especially one with such a conscience, no less, knowingly manufacture a product that poisons its users, and make that product look cool and hip and sexy and fun so they can get children?

How can any attorney defend a company that would do such a thing? And how can any society tolerate it? But we do.

There is no conscience at big tobacco. There is no conscience in Washington, which has been bought and paid for by this industry. Conscience has to come from you,the jury. If real regulation is to happen, it has to come from you.

People are smoking day after day after day and dying and dying and dying, and the tobacco companies keep getting richer and richer.

Last year alone, they made $12 billion in profits. How can that be? How can that be? "

My Recent Addiction

2008-10-20T21:58:00.007+08:00

is ... not some drama series. But ... oh this is gonna come as shocking ... It's ...

Knitting !
(I wonder whose beautiful hands are those)

The addiction began last Wednesday. It was so addictive that I stayed up till 4 am knitting. Thus, I showed up half-dead for class on Thursday. As if that was not enough, I even knitted on my journey to class too !

I got my equipments from Macy, Petaling Street. My gosh, the yarns are so GODDAMN expensive. One roll cost RM 18.00 ! And you need around 6 rolls to make a scarf. So, deciding that I may regret it, I got only 2 rolls.

And then when I consulted my aunt, I found out that she has many yarns back at her house. Aih, should have asked earlier. Collected from her place just now.

I took a closer look at it and ...

My aunt got it at RM1.50 per roll only ! With the money I spent, I could have bought 24 rolls ! Such a rip off !

Now, after 5 days of almost nothing but knitting, I only managed this.

Yes, I know that's too little for 5 days, because I totally sucked on the first day. Building up the foundation, namely casting on itself was such a task to me. I used the simplest method, which caused the knits to be really loose. Thus, in addition to my clumsiness, after knitting 2 rows or so, the knots slipped off the needle and I had to start over again.

Basically, the first and second day I almost managed nothing. It was cast-on, knit 2 rows or so and start over. I tried a different method and finally, I got the ball rolling.

However, I think I've got to abandon this project and start over. There are several mistakes I made. As you can see from above, there are loose knits at certain parts and uneven sides. No worries though, I'll take a rain check for now, and resume this project of mine after the exams.

Lots of mounting work now. 2 assignments and a thesis !

Madagascar

2008-10-20T13:46:00.006+08:00

This would be a going-down-memory-lane post.

Just the other day I came upon the cartoon Madagascar. It was one of those animation movies in which I did not fell asleep watching it in the cinema. Yes, I have a tendency to fall asleep watching cartoons. Particularly, I remember those being Finding Nemo and Robots. Though I reckon it was because I was just overly tired.

Anyway, Madagascar was a cartoon Sook Yee kept talking about. Finally, the four of us went to watch it. I was Form 6 then, and we kinda formed a clan, the four of us, after a particular incident best not mentioned.

Kai Pyn, Alvin, M00nie and Sook Yee

We then named one another by the characters.

I was Alex the Lion, Sook Yee was Gloria the Hippo, Kai Pyn was Marty the Zebra and Alvin was Melman the Giraffe. From then on, we sometimes refer to one another by those nicknames.

The act of nicknaming one another kinda gives that bit of intimacy. A mark that shows we belong in one group. And then ocassionally, when such memories resurfaces, it becomes something I could smile upon.

Aspiration

2008-10-15T00:23:00.009+08:00

As I'm writing this right now, the backdrop rumbles of thunder and heavy drops striking ground. These couple of days, evenings were enveloped with such unusual darkness that it seemed like my emotions has transcended to the unknown that controls all, being depicted unerringly.

My attempt to a melancholic post. Obviously, a failed attempt. Anyhow, feelings of sadness has always been my muse. I can never write a happy post which flows smoothly through my mind into words. Unless it's super happy thoughts like getting laid or something. Which should be left for another day. Joking !

At some point in my life, I had aspired to be a writer, which my Form 5 English teacher had crushed unsympathetically. You see, I've always been confident with my English. In fact, I have felt that I best all of my classmates, except for Benn de Silva I guess. But then, I started getting many many red circles and lines on essays I handed up. Apparently, it was laden with several past-tense, present-tense confusions. You can't blame me though, coming from a confused school. Well, I don't know whether I'm still 'past-tense, present-tense' confused, I sure hope not.

Then, I felt like I'm very much misunderstood. I wanted others to feel and see from my perspective. I wasn't aspiring to be a full-time writer, but I wanted to publish a book and I think I named it 'From my Perspective' or 'The Diaries of m00nie'.

Anyways, yeah, these two days I've been pretty depressed, for reasons pretty much the same. I've told myself times and times to handle things differently, to look at things differently, but when come the same situation, I tend to stick to my old ways.

So, umm, yeah, that's me for today.

Hey !

2008-10-13T05:07:00.005+08:00

... I can be hard to live with too.

As Mum's birthday falls on the coming 14 Oct, the aunties decided to take her out for dinner. Since yours truly is the beloved offspring, of course I was invited. We went to the Royal China Restaurant, Jalan Ampang. They are having this great promotion. For a 6 course meal for 10 pax, it only cost RM 128.90 ++. After adding the etc etc, the bill came up to only about RM 173. Cheap huh ?

Anyways, back to topic. Now, it has been common knowledge that aunties love to bitch. (well, actually all women love to bitch) Since I am now officially an adult, they were quite open in talking about several things in my presence.

One such thing they talked about was the hardships of living together. From different parties there were different perspectives. Listening in, I realized there are so many issues surrounding individuals living under the same roof.

Sometimes, I would say "I can never live with this person, because ...", but I have never stopped to evaluate myself. Perhaps with friends I could be a considerate housemate, but with my family, my true-self surfaces. Things has to go my way, I am emotional almost all the time, I never admit my mistakes, I dominate the most comfortable sofa and eventhough my sister may have got on it first, I still dominate the sofa.

I guess I can be hard to live with too.