When I've finally begun to believe that things are going my way, I realized that it has been wishful thinking all along. The feeling is like your heart's crushed.
I think I'm having mid-life crisis. Yeah, that young in life. I've been doing things impulsively, sometimes my thoughts just wander off, even when I'm mingling with my friends. And you thought that no one would've notice, when in fact you are staring into space with that blank expression.
Some good news. Got notice that I will be promoted. Yay ! At least something's going well for me. Other than this, not so flattering. Can't stop thinking about how I suck, big time.
Time and time I tell myself to stay positive, don't think too much. But you know, sometimes when you have some time to sit and reflect, gosh there's so many things I wished I could have done differently, or not do it at all. And then I'd wish I could be better at so many things and realize that no matter how hard I try, I just suck.
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