Focus

I just realized that my focus has been so wrong, so confined. That I've failed to look at the big picture. Making me act the way I acted and feel the way I felt. Which is kinda stupid, now that my eyes are opened. I'll just give myself this night to clear things up and set my emotions and perspective right, in order to face the mounting work I have to do should I still desire to be able to do well in this semester.

One night, and that is all to it. In the morning, I must start working hard and ... smart, I guess.

May the past guide me and not haunt me.


~On another note, I'm kinda worried about mom. She has had this eye pressure (Glaucoma) and eye floaters problem all along. The eye floaters problem is a condition where you may sometimes see small specks or clouds moving in your field of vision. In my mother's case, it's like she always see a speck of black spot flashing across her eye, like a fly. Sometimes, she really thought that it's a fly and would wave her hands up to shoo it away, when in fact there is nothing in front of her.

Clearly, it is greatly annoying and uncomfortable. But these few days she has been complaining about her eye aching. At first I thought it was nothing to worry about as I knew it could be the eye pressure problem she has. Furthermore her panel doctor says that it's just eye infection. But today I saw that her eye was kinda red and the pain was bothering her.

I read this in the net

'While patients with open angle glaucoma don’t typically have symptoms, those with angle closure glaucoma may experience severe eye pain accompanied by nausea, blurred vision, rainbows around lights, and a red eye. This problem is an emergency and should be treated by an ophthalmologist immediately. If left untreated, severe and permanent loss of vision will occur in a matter of days.'

I hope it's nothing serious. That it could be easily treated. I fear for the worst. Blindness.
At these moments I feel really helpless.