Some of the Best Movies

... I've watched are:

1. Bicentennial man (The android who wants to be human)
2. Titanic (Who could forget 'you jump, I jump' ?)
3. Meet Joe Black (Death, who fell in love)
4. Artificial Intelligence or A.I (Robotic boy who seeks the love of his human mother)

These are movies I could watch over and over again and yet still cry over it. Also, they offer some of the best soundtracks I've ever heard.

So, if you have the time, why not catch one of these ?

This Christmas

... was a Christmas I wasn't really excited about.
I just feel that the magical feeling has cease to exist. Probably because I've grown up or that people around me have changed.

Moreover, quite a number of LimClan members were unable to attend today's party. And well, MsRedd will be leaving Malaysia soon for good. She's one cousin that I've recently grown fond of, so the prospect of her absence in every other gathering in the future seems like a bleak prospect. So Christmas seemed quiet.

Anyhow, it turned out quite well. Well, I got to really chat with a number of people in the party. My eldest cousin, Jerry, gave me lots of encouragement and advice about my future career prospects. He made me understand that academic results are not everything. Even if I feel less than worthy, I should always try. It's okay to be rejected, just try again.

And then I had a long chat with Godpa. He told me how he actually got to meet and adopt Ashley. According to him, my youngest cousin had been rejected many times by many families, who refused to adopt her because of some medical history.

It would seem like she's an unwanted child, and if she had the sense to comprehend this, she would surely feel really bad, as if like she's so unworthy of love. However, it's because of those initial rejections that cause her to land at my Godfather's arms and to receive all the love he is giving to her.

Perhaps rejections are meant for better things in life.


***

This Christmas, I am grateful, for I've spent it with those who matter. Friends and family that I care for.

Merry Christmas !

One moment

Following yesterday's post, I went to bed at 6 am and woke up at 6 pm. Now that's really some sleep. My sister was already prepared to call my prince to come kiss me.

Perhaps what I needed was just sleep.
It is enough just to worry about today. Tomorrow's worry should be left for tomorrow.

It's over !

My finals are finally over !!!!
I am now almost a graduate. Why almost ? Because I still have a thesis presentation on the 5th of January 2009 (can you believe it's gonna be 2009 already ?) and well, I still don't know my results yet don't I ? Who knows I might fail one of the subjects ? Then it'd be no graduation for me.

The minute I handed in my paper, I really had this moment of a sense of relieve. Well, it did not last long. I went to bed just now all sleepy only to find myself rolling around on the bed for like an hour. And now, I feel mentally tired yet at the same time wide awake.

I am beginning to worry about my future. Mum has been pestering me for like a month to start applying for jobs but I ignored her as I was busy preparing for my assignments and thesis. Now that everything is finally over, well, I dunno, I just feel like I am not very employable.

I feel like I had never really worked hard during the course of my undergraduate studies and I feel so undeserving of being offered a job. I'm worried about interviews, where there might be possibilities that technical questions might be posed, and I'd certainly fail miserably.

It's just that Mum has such high hopes, and I fear that I might have to disappoint her. And I blame myself also, for being so lazy despite knowing her expectations.

It's like she hears from her sister about how well her daughter had performed, and it saddens me that I can't be that daughter for her.

I just feel really really stressed up.

Counting Down

It has FINALLY come down to this. 2 more days and we'll be free as birds.

Actually, more like entering another cage, the cage of the working world !

Give Up ?

Perhaps in biographies of many great entrepreneurs, we would see that the process to success would be one that involves many falls, in which they persevered into becoming what they are today.

Through the journey, they might have endured having not a single cent in their pockets, or making just enough to survive today. It certainly is no easy plight.

In this voyage, many people around them would have told them to give up. But if they had heeded such words, they would not have become the millionaire or billionaire they are today.

In spite of this, is there this thing of knowing when to give up ? What if this expedition eventually leads to no where ? Your plight is never only your concern. It affects many people around you. The kind of worry they have to go through is not only of their own welfare but also yours.

I can only hope for the best.

On the Phone

These days of MSN, Skype and ICQ (does anyone still use this?), do you still chat on the phone ? Ever since form 3 or form 4, I think I've never called anyone up just to chat. This is partly due to the innovation of MSN and mostly due to my infamous disability.

Today I was chatting on MSN with a friend of mine for an hour or so. No doubt we had lots to talk about, but it would never be the same if it was on the phone. I feel that in a chatroom, you are given that gap to think about what to say next, yet on the phone, that gap would be total silence on both ends. And that's certainly an awkward moment.

Anyway, as we were chatting, my friend was also on the phone with another friend. Now that a whole new definition to multi-tasking. Wow, they could really talk so long. I left the conversation for a loooong bath, but came back with them still on the phone.

Actually I kinda envy those kind of friendship. It's like you can be so comfortable with this person that you could just talk about whatever and not fear about boring the other party.

Anyhow, before I contracted this disability, I had this one friend whom I had a record of being on the phone with her for 6 whole hours ! I seriously don't know how we managed that. It's like we could talked about just anything and I had no qualms about revealing to her almost every single thoughts I had. I could even ask her questions like 'do you think I'm fat ?' Which is such a taboo question, well at least to me lah.

An Uncanny Encounter

Back in my Form 6 days, I tend to meet lots of uncanny characters. Some actually scares me but most are just people I find amusing. Talking to them is actually kinda refreshing. In fact I find it relaxing, I need not be careful of my words and I can be a little crazy.

Well yesterday I talked to one such person. I was kinda having a bad day. Plans I've made long long time ago are crumbling bits by bits.

So this person said ' hello, how was your day ? '

I answered something like 'it was ok'. And the next message came as: " The sky didn't fall down what, why so pessimistic ? "

That was just what I needed. A simple sentence, but it placed a stop to all the negative thoughts I was conjuring. Almost immediately, things does not seem all that bad anymore.

Sometimes things you need might just come from the most unusual places.

I May Not Know

***

I may not know many words of encouragement,
I may not know the right words;
But know this,
You have been on my mind ever since it happened.

I wish I was a little more concerned that fateful day,
If not, I could ... I could ...
I wish I knew what to say.
I wish I could take all your troubles away.

Though I may not ask much,
It does not mean that I care not.
It's just ... perhaps somethings are better left unsaid ?



***

Dangerous world we live in

Just the other day, I was on the phone with Christine in the storeroom. It was a mere 5 minutes call, but when I went back into the living room, my mum was like in shock. She said that a man came into the house compound (our outside gate was unlocked you see). She was overly engrossed by the tv that she didn't even notice someone entering through the gate and into the compound.

The man announced himself as the police. He asked whether we were the house that was robbed. Turns out he went to the wrong house. The right house was just a few houses away but on the same row. He claimed that the house was robbed of RM 70,000 !

Imagine that, just a few houses away someone was robbed. It could have easily been us. Though I doubt they can get that amount of value from us. They'd probably murder us for being overly poor that it was a wasted effort trying to rob us.

Thus, I heed all to be extra cautious nowadays. You can never be too careful.

***

It's only another 19 days. Just a little more than 2 weeks and I'd be free ! So I need to focus, give up a little fun, a little sleep and I'd never live to regret this 2 weeks !