surprisingly relaxed

In general, I consider myself an uptight person. A colleague once told me to ... 'Get a grip' ! I don't know whether he was just joking or really meant it. Anyhow, it was a valid comment.

I fuss about the tiniest thing you can think of. About dropping my brand-new phone, about constantly losing my stationeries, you get the drift.

When it comes to exams, I normally procrastinate at the beginning and then get really nervous a few days before the exam. This time around, I am surprisingly relaxed, even it's just 2 days from now. I study at my own pace, taking long breaks in between and turned my sleeping hours around. I am normally asleep 8am - 4pm and awake the rest of the time.

Let's keep our fingers crossed that I'd pass this paper at my 1st attempt. I've prayed long and hard for it. Though effort-wise, not really deserving of it.

Excuse to procrastinate

The title says it all.

Just watched Letters to Juliet. Wouldn't say it was a great watch but it's those love stories that leaves you ....

"Oh, how I wish I was her"

or ...

"Maybe it's time I muster the courage ?"

Jokes gone wrong

Most times I make jokes which are kinda insulting, but in a funny way. At least I try to. I think I might have gone overboard at times. But my intentions are never malicious. I just hope my friends and colleague sees this.

On another note, must.start.to.study.hard.from.tomorrow.onwards. Like seriously. Please let it not be too late !

Point for Reflection: Bitching

Today we had an nice session of bitching over a farewell dinner. Yes, it was all enjoyable and all, speaking your hearts out. Chances are, others might feel the same about you. And it would have sucked big time, if they had talked about you like how you had talked about them.

So m00nie, keep your opinions to yourself. And to acquaintances, make small talk, but keep your very true self at bay, just until you know them better.

Quoting from the Bible:
"Do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets" Luke 6:31.

Not Giving Up

During one of those all-nighters job, I asked my senior who is pregnant about how she met her husband. And I got an amazing love story.

Her husband started pursuing her since Form 1. At that time, my senior was not at all interested and made it very clear about how she felt. This went on till her university days. Through this all, her husband didn't give up. He continued pursuing her persistently and finally his efforts harvested.

It must have felt so great to be at the receiving end of such love. I think it's always best to have someone like you more than you do. You'd be so loved, so blessed.

***

On another note, I am so excited at the coming of a new member into the Lim Clan !!! My cowzen, Benjamin is expecting a son this Wednesday !!! I'm gonna be an auntie !!!

Of heartaches and jealousy

September, though being the month of my birth has been full of heartaches, jealousy, insecurity ... all the negativity ... you name it !

Geez ... get a grip man m00nie !

But well, can't complain about the the prezzies though ! Totally loving them.


Got this watch from my high school friends. Gosh I'm so touched by Naoki. One fine day he called me. 'I'm sorry lah, I can't get you the Ipod Dock, we can't afford it. Can we get you a watch instead ? What watch do you have now ?' I mean, I could feel like he is really trying hard to get me something I'd like. Actually, the thought of wanting to get me a present is already suffice.

The Bitch Clan got me this purse. Totally rocks hard !!!
My wallet has been broken for ages, but I've been dawdling on getting a new one !
I really like it !! Thanks guys !

***

I feel so naked in front of this friend of mine. It's like the motive behind my every actions whether intentional or not is known to her. It can be so scary at times. I guess in most ways she understands me well. Can't say that it's likewise though.

Ahh ... work again tomorrow ... Blues !!!
Hope an episode of Brothers and Sisters would get me going ...

Mid-life crisis

When I've finally begun to believe that things are going my way, I realized that it has been wishful thinking all along. The feeling is like your heart's crushed.

I think I'm having mid-life crisis. Yeah, that young in life. I've been doing things impulsively, sometimes my thoughts just wander off, even when I'm mingling with my friends. And you thought that no one would've notice, when in fact you are staring into space with that blank expression.

Some good news. Got notice that I will be promoted. Yay ! At least something's going well for me. Other than this, not so flattering. Can't stop thinking about how I suck, big time.

Time and time I tell myself to stay positive, don't think too much. But you know, sometimes when you have some time to sit and reflect, gosh there's so many things I wished I could have done differently, or not do it at all. And then I'd wish I could be better at so many things and realize that no matter how hard I try, I just suck.

***