Hopes

Sometimes I wonder, why did my father of all names chose Angela? In fact, I secretly dislike the name Angela. I find it lame, uncool and nerdish. Despite that, I had not really bothered to question his choice.

So yesterday, I was having a once in the blue moon, before bed time kind of conversation with mum. Somehow, she brought up the topic.

Turns out dad was inspired to name me Angela because of the character 'Angela Channing' in the soap opera entitled 'Falcon Crest'. According to mum, she was some bitchy lady who fought ruthlessly for the things she desires.

Cast of Falcon Crest (Angela Channing is the old lady sitting)

As soon as mum finished that sentence, my sister immediately said "No wonder, now I understand why you turned out like that".

Hmmph.

I guess dad wanted me to be someone ambitious and great in the future. In some way, he seems to have named me right. Because I do consider myself ambitious. May I not disappoint him.

You know, before I was born, my dad had wanted a son. Yes, I was the unwanted child. Perhaps his desire was so strong that although I ended up being a girl, I was a total tomboy. In fact, I consider myself 'a man trapped in a woman's body'. Haha. Well, being a girl is such trouble. What with the monthly 'auntie' visits and etc etc.

Somehow, all of dad's hopes for me have made its way in different forms into turning the me today me. (Confusing sentence here)

Hairstyle with a lesson

Have you attempted a new hairstyle that ended disastrously? Maybe not cr4zyb3autiful, since hers seemed to always work out quite well.

Well I, on the other hand, have experienced it not once but TWICE. Only during my college days itself. I've not included those during my primary and secondary years. (Yeah, I have bad luck with hairstyles) It was so bad I felt like I have to duck into a hole. Everywhere I went, it felt like everyone was staring at me. I even remembered someone saying: "do not change anything that's not broken".

During these two experiences, I had to visit the saloon THREE times in a roll to get it fixed. (Don't know why but it's always 3 times)

So I was looking at myself on the mirror just now. And thinking, gosh I'm so goddamn hawt hmm I actually do like my new hairstyle. Sure, it took 3 visits and some minor changes in the way I style my hair, but in the end, it turned out fine. And I'm glad I made that change.


Sometimes things may appear bad, but blessings may come with it later, or in another form. So do not so quickly judge a situation. That's what I learnt.

Just like the story about the farmer.


'There was this farmer whose horse ran away. And his neighbors came to pity him, saying how unfortunate he is. He replied "We'll see".

Some time later, the horse returned with a mate. And his neighbors came to congratulate him, saying that he is so lucky. And he replied "We'll see".

One day his son rode on the new horse and fell down. He was crippled. And his neighbors came over to comfort the farmer over his bad luck. Again the farmer replied "We'll see".

The coming year the country was stricken with war, and armies came to the village to recruit soldiers to fight in the war. Because the farmer's son was crippled, he was not chosen.'


Some details may be a little off, but you get the gist right?

Birthdays I've Forgotten

Ooops Sorry !

Happy Belated Birthdays to the following ... (Although I doubt they actually read this blog)

Ester Tan, my childhood friend. (21th March)

Although we have not talked or met for years, I'll always remember you as the cute, funny girl with her hair tied in a bun.

Fiona Chuah, yet another childhood friend. (24th May)


Both of you still close as ever. You guys gave me the best primary years.


Kean Ping, secondary school friend. (23th June)

The boy who sat behind me in class. Loves shooting me with the rubber band and poking my back with the mechanical pencil.

I miss

I miss the past.

Maybe you are busy.

Maybe you have forgotten.

Maybe not.

But I remember.

Shy

On my 2nd day of work, I went out for lunch with four other colleagues, 3 girls and one boy. Reminds you of someone? *cough* CY.

Trying to appear outgoing and fun, I made jokes and started gossips. One that involves that boy erm man. We started teasing him but I'm sure we made it clear it was just a joke.

But guess what? Now he wouldn't join us for lunch, apparently because we were 'bullying' him.

Oh and the way he talks, very soft and filled with shyness.

So today I came to the office early, finally succeeding in getting a free parking. Yay! There was practically no one in the office, and so I made my coffee and sat in front of the computer, surfing the net.

Then I saw the shy boy came in, and so I waved at him. And what was his reaction? He turned and looked behind ! As if unsure whether I was actually waving to him. And there was no one else in the office. Hmmph.

******

So I've finished reading 'Snow Flower and the Secret Fan'. Thanks to all the free time I have at the office. Although it left me feeling immensely guilty. It's not my fault what, they left me no choice. I hope things would significantly improve next week, else I might have to consider leaving.

The novel kept my attention the whole time. Very nice book indeed. It showed me different perspectives of things. Coincidently, it is very much applicable to certain things that have been bothering me.

******

Just like in front of my college friends, I've managed to establish myself as the 'hamsup' girl among my collegues too. Those I have lunch with that is. Something about the way I moved my eyebrow.

Rocky road

An hour or two of work was all I had. Subsequently, I was left to surf the net and read the novel I brought to work.

Of course, I attended discussions. But they spoke a language I was unfamiliar with. Of codes and systems I have not heard of. The only things that made sense was: P&L account, Balance Sheet and consolidation.

The fact that I have nothing to do kinda makes me feel like '英雄无用武之地'.

Looks like it'd be a rocky road ahead. (I guess that answers your question? Kenneth gor gor)

By the way, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ! See you this Saturday.



P.S. So sorry to hear about your accident today Naoki. Hope everything would turn out fine.

Melancholy not

Today's post will not be filled with melancholy.

So today I went to work with a book, 'Snow flower and the secret fan' by Lisa See. I'm barely a quarter through, but it seems like a good one. It's about a Chinese girl whose feet were bound at the early age of 7. Those who loved 'Memoirs of a Geisha' should give it a try.

Two hours or three into reading later, I decided to be more assertive. And so I made more inquires about getting my computer set up and finally it was done. I guess sometimes we need to shun off feelings of shyness or fear to appear rude in order to get things done.

And so finally I have work to do! Rejoice!

Today's lunch was enjoyable. My colleague took a drive to Hartamas, as we intend to have 'Siew Yok' (barbecued pork) rice for lunch. But the coffee shop was overly packed and so we decided to have Sugimoto instead (did I get the spelling right?). The food was just alright but there is a perk of FOC green tea and CIMB card holders are entitled to a discount.

During lunch, to my astonishment, I was actually able to crack some jokes (some were hamsup ones). Well, usually I'm quite reserved with people I'm not close with. In fact, we had such a great time that lunch lasted almost 2 hours. Haha, it's only the second day into working and I'm already breaking rules.

But I hope lunch would not be at these places everyday. If not, my allowance would never be enough.

It was a breeze driving home. Not as jam as the past. Maybe there is some good from the hike in petrol price. Well, at least we have the annual RM 625 cash rebate.

Today was great.

First day

So today is the first day of my 2-months internship. Can you believe that I'm preparing this blog entry in writing during office hours? That's because the IT department have yet to set up my computer and I have nothing to do but to read Times magazine. Which is entirely BORING. Definitely not Moonie reading material.

Then lunch time came and I must say I was put into the suspense into wondering whether anyone would invite me for lunch, or I'd end up being the pathetic freak of nature. Ok, a little too dramatic here. Well, unlike accounting firms, there are not many vacation trainees around and thus it would be hard to find lunch partners.

Fortunately, this cheery lady came over to invite me for lunch. That was instant relief.

What a small world this is. My lunch partner happens to know Yee Joo and my cousin. Such coincidence! Both of us were completely amazed by this.

Lunch ended and here I am sitting and writing again. It is only my first day and I'm already thinking, "Oops, I said the wrong thing again. Too much information." Yeah, I started my story-telling session about the golfer again. Maybe I am indeed in love with her.

And I kinda declared that I hate audit in front of an audit project manager. Apparently, she is here to help us with the FRS 139. So, like what the golfer said, it is indeed the topic of attention.

I am beginning to think that I am too naive for this world. Although I may not show it, I tend to believe that people that appear kind are kind. Most at least. Unless it's too obvious la. Therefore, I am never too careful against people in general.

And then I get to know them better, I start to believe that I know this person, and there is nothing I should be cautious with or feel insecure about. I just put myself out there, believing in the relationship I've established, giving my heart to the ones I call friends. And then I'd find myself betrayed, because suddenly I feel like I don't know this person anymore. I'd find words, actions I'd never thought they are capable of.

Perhaps I'm being overly sensitive, or perhaps no one is ever true enough to begin with.

Of course I have my dark sides as well. There were moments I was mean, ungrateful, unappreciative, selfish, boastful, egoistic, proud ... Most of the time I never stop to reflect on my own weaknesses but blame others for my pain and drown myself in self-pity.

I guess I'm saying I'm very much confused. I really don't know how to act. It's like my every actions are judged. Sometimes I act in ways which is not being myself so that others would like me more but instead I draw them even further. Yet at the same time I am afraid to be myself, because it is never good enough to me.

You know, the truth can be cruel but the fact that we are capable of lying makes the truth even more cruel.

I just wish I could one day be happy to be just me and wonder nothing else. That way, my senses would be clear to be opened to other things that matter in life.

Indeed I know that people who are happy and confident to be themselves exude an appealing air. You are just naturally drawn to them because they tend to be cheery, positive people. It feels nice to be around such people. But sometimes, you just cannot help but wonder.

Nonsense

One of my favourite past time is to irritate my sister. And I can be rather determined in doing it.
One example is when I asked her a stupid question and she wouldn't answer me. And how did I react to that?

Well, I repeated the same question over and over again until she answered me. Once, she held her stand and refused to give me any response. And so I repeated the same question for almost AN HOUR non-stop. Despite my determination, I had to eventually give up. She managed to tolerate my irritatingness. =( See how determined I could be ? I just wish it could be applied to other things like ... completing my homework?

Haha ... sorrylah the holidays provided me with too much free time and so you should expect more nonsense from me.

***

Today I went to college to see my lecturer regarding my business report. That guy, sent him two emails and I received no response whatsoever. So I decided to go to college to meet him instead.

Not knowing his teaching schedule, I wasn't sure whether he would be there. Fortunately, he was in his room.

M00nie: Good morning Mr. Sxxxa, I'm one of your students for the business report. I was wondering when you would be free to meet up with me.

Mr. Sxxxa: Oh, you must be 'Moonie'. Ya, I received your email. But I was too busy finalizing your results that I didn't reply your email.

Moonie: Celaka betul. Eh, I sent you one email each week for two consecutive weeks but you didn't reply at all. How much time could it take you to just reply a blardy email? F*cker !
(Of course I didn't say that)

Instead it was ...

Moonie: Oh, how was it?

Mr. Sxxxa: (Takes out a list) You are (reads out full name) right ? Mmm ... (nods) okay. But it's not finalized yet, so I can't tell you too much. At least now I made it worthwhile for you to come today.

(Big smile on face)

The petrol hike

Yesterday, Malaysia received one of the worst news ever. The hike of the price of petrol. It's the 'everyone's-talking-about-it' matter of the day. The new petrol price would be RM2.70 a litre, a hike of 78 cents!

Imagine hearing this from me. ME, who is ignorant enough to not read the newspaper. You must realise the seriousness of the situation. Everyone is bound to feel the pinch. Food prices would certainly go up, but salary remains the same.

Oh, the craziness of the situation man. Well, of course upon the release of the news, it's only natural for everyone to race to the petrol stations to get their gas tanks pumped full of the final RM1.92 petrol. The lines at the petrol stations were exceptionally long, causing traffic congestion. Except for BHP, it seems to have not attract the crowd. I wonder why?

Ah, impeccable timing really. My internship begins on June 16, where I'd have to drive all the way to Damansara every working day. Imagine the expense. Mum would most probably ban the usage of the car from now on.

Aih ...