Of heartaches and jealousy

September, though being the month of my birth has been full of heartaches, jealousy, insecurity ... all the negativity ... you name it !

Geez ... get a grip man m00nie !

But well, can't complain about the the prezzies though ! Totally loving them.


Got this watch from my high school friends. Gosh I'm so touched by Naoki. One fine day he called me. 'I'm sorry lah, I can't get you the Ipod Dock, we can't afford it. Can we get you a watch instead ? What watch do you have now ?' I mean, I could feel like he is really trying hard to get me something I'd like. Actually, the thought of wanting to get me a present is already suffice.

The Bitch Clan got me this purse. Totally rocks hard !!!
My wallet has been broken for ages, but I've been dawdling on getting a new one !
I really like it !! Thanks guys !

***

I feel so naked in front of this friend of mine. It's like the motive behind my every actions whether intentional or not is known to her. It can be so scary at times. I guess in most ways she understands me well. Can't say that it's likewise though.

Ahh ... work again tomorrow ... Blues !!!
Hope an episode of Brothers and Sisters would get me going ...

Mid-life crisis

When I've finally begun to believe that things are going my way, I realized that it has been wishful thinking all along. The feeling is like your heart's crushed.

I think I'm having mid-life crisis. Yeah, that young in life. I've been doing things impulsively, sometimes my thoughts just wander off, even when I'm mingling with my friends. And you thought that no one would've notice, when in fact you are staring into space with that blank expression.

Some good news. Got notice that I will be promoted. Yay ! At least something's going well for me. Other than this, not so flattering. Can't stop thinking about how I suck, big time.

Time and time I tell myself to stay positive, don't think too much. But you know, sometimes when you have some time to sit and reflect, gosh there's so many things I wished I could have done differently, or not do it at all. And then I'd wish I could be better at so many things and realize that no matter how hard I try, I just suck.

***

Gasp

Each time a car of a similar type and color passes by, my heart skips a beat.

***

Work is so scary these days. Gotta watch each step of the way. Else, beware of the wrath of the client and the bosses !!! Yes, I must admit that some of their expectations are valid. But there is just not enough time. And the nastiness ? Some compassion maybe ?

***

I've been completely bizarre. Got myself inked twice in a little over a month. The 1st was completely spontaneous and I loved it.


The second was ... ok I am a little regretful. Let's just say that the variety of my working attires has shrunk to only long sleeve shirts.

Still getting used to seeing colors on my forearm.

Money

Isn't it an irony that money was first created to facilitate the exchange of goods and services ? Today, it is the source of many crimes, division in status, standard of living and becomes a sensitive matter even between families and friends. Sometimes it is capable of turning relationships sour. Hell, the creation of my profession is also because of this capitalist society.

... Just a little shout out of my sentiments.

***

Ah, this entire month is gonna be so hectic !!! I have classes on Mondays, Wednesdays & Thursdays nights and an entire Sundays of classes !!!

I'm glad that I have someone to go to classes with. Makes it less dreadful. At least there's something to look forward to.

***

By the way, just returned from my trip to Melbourne. The trip was awesome !!!

Really had fun exploring the city. And skiing too !!!

Had pleasure getting to know her family. Especially her extremely sweet and cheeky cousin, Marcus.

Love this picture. The radiance of happiness !!!

Well the trip had slightly fell short of my expectations though. Thought we would have time for more sights of Melbourne. And well, we had a little bit of a squabble at the end of the trip. For a completely minute issue !



Anyways, I am pleased that we managed to spend some time together away from work and studies !!!

In sum, a great trip nonetheless !

Mixed feeling

So my exam for this semester has finally ended. Yet my feelings are mixed. Yes I'm glad that it's over but I'm also feeling so lousy, because I have a strong feeling that I'm doomed !

I really really don't want to retake the same papers over again !

Ok, I didn't work all that hard. Even if I had, I feel like the papers are way beyond my capabilities. Because when answering the questions, it's like you know the answers yet you don't know. It's not like if you've read the text required that you'd know how to do it. The killer is it's application !

And I'm like a turtle when writing. I've been writing non-stop for 3 hours during the exam and yet I can't finish the questions.

The worse feeling of all is I feel like my competence is way behind my peers.

CaroLian

Get it ? BenGie = Ben + Angie, so CaroLian = Carol + Julian

Yesterday, they had officially tied the knot, by signature that is. Oh, how I wish that I was more involved. The truth is, I got wind about the signing ceremony about 1 or 2 days before through Facebook. And so I thought, since I wasn't invited, should not attempt to self-invite.

Do not be misled though, I'm not feeling bad/jealous that I was not invited. I think it was more of a immediate family, uncles & auntie, close-friends/cowzens kind of event. But looking at the pictures in Facebook, ah the joy there was ! Made me wish I had been a part.

Okie, a short one, back to the boring stories of Business Analysis.

Old People

Everyone has a story to tell. I like listening to old people narrating about their younger days, their trials and tribulations. Kinda makes me feel like everyone has their share of hardship in life. It's like, I'm not alone. They can get through it, so can I !