Mixed feeling

So my exam for this semester has finally ended. Yet my feelings are mixed. Yes I'm glad that it's over but I'm also feeling so lousy, because I have a strong feeling that I'm doomed !

I really really don't want to retake the same papers over again !

Ok, I didn't work all that hard. Even if I had, I feel like the papers are way beyond my capabilities. Because when answering the questions, it's like you know the answers yet you don't know. It's not like if you've read the text required that you'd know how to do it. The killer is it's application !

And I'm like a turtle when writing. I've been writing non-stop for 3 hours during the exam and yet I can't finish the questions.

The worse feeling of all is I feel like my competence is way behind my peers.

CaroLian

Get it ? BenGie = Ben + Angie, so CaroLian = Carol + Julian

Yesterday, they had officially tied the knot, by signature that is. Oh, how I wish that I was more involved. The truth is, I got wind about the signing ceremony about 1 or 2 days before through Facebook. And so I thought, since I wasn't invited, should not attempt to self-invite.

Do not be misled though, I'm not feeling bad/jealous that I was not invited. I think it was more of a immediate family, uncles & auntie, close-friends/cowzens kind of event. But looking at the pictures in Facebook, ah the joy there was ! Made me wish I had been a part.

Okie, a short one, back to the boring stories of Business Analysis.

Old People

Everyone has a story to tell. I like listening to old people narrating about their younger days, their trials and tribulations. Kinda makes me feel like everyone has their share of hardship in life. It's like, I'm not alone. They can get through it, so can I !

Back to Square One

Can't believe the entire Saturday's gone already. Today, I think I'm falling back to my old melancholic ways again. Dunno le, suddenly I'm feeling kinda miserable. The thought of piling work, upcoming exams, my canceled Bangkok trip and growing old certainly does me no justice.

Cows on the road (Job @ Rawang)

But well, I guess the key to being happy is not about having a perfect, problem-less life but is to be able to move on from setbacks, flaws with a positive attitude. Oh, I'm being all philosophical here.

About my canceled trip, it's because of the political demonstrations in Thailand. How unlucky of me right ? Ah well, let's hope that we'd get refund for it or maybe peace would be restored right before our trip ? Doesn't hurt to have some wishful thinking !

***

These days I've been feeling incredibly old. I'm 24 already this year, though my birthday is still months away (oh did I mentioned that my birthday's gonna be a public holiday from now on ?), but it's like another year to go and I'm halfway through a decade to the big 3-0.



When I was younger, I used to feel that someone at the age of 24 is like really an adult already, a different level from being a young adult, that they'd have much more matured thinking and well just act like an adult lah. But I'm 24 now, and I still feel very much a teenager.

And responsibilities are creeping in closer, while all I wanna do is just to have fun. I long for my childhood years where I could speak my mind without serious consequences, where I'd have school holidays, where all I had to worry was about studying and passing my exams. I can now finally understand why the adults used to say that studying is much easier than actually working in the society.

***

Been really mean this week, pondering back: what if it was me ? How would I feel ?

New Resolution:

To hate in silence ! =p

So what

Some people are just plain snobs. Just because they live in PJ/Damansara, they think that they're more superior than others. Who says people in Cheras only speaks mandarin ? Obviously you're ignorant. And I don't think your English is any greater.

3 days to a week

That's how long the CNY holidays were. Funny it seemed much longer before it began, and now there's only one day left. I've accomplished most things I wanted to do during the holidays, except work. Didn't touch it at all.

Got good news over reunion dinner. Cousin's wife is 1 and a half month's pregnant. I'm gonna be Auntie Angela ! Imagine that huh.

These days I've been excited about organizing Yee Joo's wedding. I don't know why. And it's not even in the process yet.

Well I guess I do know why. I was inspired by this.

And this.

Pardon me MsRedd and Sonia (if you happen to be reading this) for the lack of permission.

I long for that feeling of seeing her walk down the aisle with tears trickling down my cheek.

***

Ok, back about CNY, today's karaoke totally rocked hard. And we certainly had fun during our Glee marathon. Even the aunties enjoyed it too. That's a first.

Kinda disappointed today though. Was supposed to hang out with the BC. But the plan got canceled. Anyways, hanging out at my cousin's now, and watching My Sister's Keeper for the second time, kinda feel like crying. It's so touching.

Well, till next time. Ciaoz !

Minute worries

Today I feel like ... a kid, particularly during my primary years, when I couldn't remember the multiplication table (the 11 & 12 multiples especially) and it was almost my turn to recite it to my teacher ...

I received an email today indicating that my leaves in June were disapproved due to incomplete submission. I already knew the reason why. You see, it's the policy of my firm that any application of leaves for more than 3 days would require 3 approvers: the verifier (admin personnel), the scheduling manager and the partner. And that is if you are not already booked for a job. If you are, add in another approver: the engagement manager.

As you can see, getting a week's of leave approved would take some time. So in order to escape the bureaucracy, I staggered my leave application. I applied for two days of leave in one day, waited for a few days or a week to pass and put in another application for another 2 days.

Well, my plot wasn't successful. (but it was last December, I got 2 weeks of leave) The manager discovered my plot and has requested to see me. Couldn't see her today as I wasn't at the office. So I instant-messaged her, but she wouldn't discuss the matter over the net and has insisted to see me.

So now my Chinese New Year is officially doomed. Can't stop the lingering thoughts of what she might have to say. And what if my leaves doesn't get approved ? I've already bought my tickets to Melbourne. And it's like something I'm really looking forward to. Arghhhh ...

Anyways, it's my entitlement what. Plus, I've bought the tickets and applied for the leaves 6 months before the date and even before I'm booked for any job. So should be ok lah ...

***

Worry No.2 : My ACCA ! Result's coming out end of this month. I really hope I wouldn't fail. Retaking the test would be painful and expensive !

***

I raised my voice on my colleague yesterday. He is just super irritating. Always act as if he's a know-it-all. And then he wants to review my work, when he's not even my senior ! We're of same rank but he joined much earlier. And bloody hell said that I did it wrongly when he was actually mistaken. It was such joy to correct and having him admit his mistake. Muahahaha.

Ok I must admit that he is much more experienced than I am but his attitude is totally unbearable. Even the client's irritated with him.

But aih, I should have been more patient. Now I have to worry about what my other colleagues would think of me.