Some of the Best Movies

... I've watched are:

1. Bicentennial man (The android who wants to be human)
2. Titanic (Who could forget 'you jump, I jump' ?)
3. Meet Joe Black (Death, who fell in love)
4. Artificial Intelligence or A.I (Robotic boy who seeks the love of his human mother)

These are movies I could watch over and over again and yet still cry over it. Also, they offer some of the best soundtracks I've ever heard.

So, if you have the time, why not catch one of these ?

This Christmas

... was a Christmas I wasn't really excited about.
I just feel that the magical feeling has cease to exist. Probably because I've grown up or that people around me have changed.

Moreover, quite a number of LimClan members were unable to attend today's party. And well, MsRedd will be leaving Malaysia soon for good. She's one cousin that I've recently grown fond of, so the prospect of her absence in every other gathering in the future seems like a bleak prospect. So Christmas seemed quiet.

Anyhow, it turned out quite well. Well, I got to really chat with a number of people in the party. My eldest cousin, Jerry, gave me lots of encouragement and advice about my future career prospects. He made me understand that academic results are not everything. Even if I feel less than worthy, I should always try. It's okay to be rejected, just try again.

And then I had a long chat with Godpa. He told me how he actually got to meet and adopt Ashley. According to him, my youngest cousin had been rejected many times by many families, who refused to adopt her because of some medical history.

It would seem like she's an unwanted child, and if she had the sense to comprehend this, she would surely feel really bad, as if like she's so unworthy of love. However, it's because of those initial rejections that cause her to land at my Godfather's arms and to receive all the love he is giving to her.

Perhaps rejections are meant for better things in life.


***

This Christmas, I am grateful, for I've spent it with those who matter. Friends and family that I care for.

Merry Christmas !

One moment

Following yesterday's post, I went to bed at 6 am and woke up at 6 pm. Now that's really some sleep. My sister was already prepared to call my prince to come kiss me.

Perhaps what I needed was just sleep.
It is enough just to worry about today. Tomorrow's worry should be left for tomorrow.

It's over !

My finals are finally over !!!!
I am now almost a graduate. Why almost ? Because I still have a thesis presentation on the 5th of January 2009 (can you believe it's gonna be 2009 already ?) and well, I still don't know my results yet don't I ? Who knows I might fail one of the subjects ? Then it'd be no graduation for me.

The minute I handed in my paper, I really had this moment of a sense of relieve. Well, it did not last long. I went to bed just now all sleepy only to find myself rolling around on the bed for like an hour. And now, I feel mentally tired yet at the same time wide awake.

I am beginning to worry about my future. Mum has been pestering me for like a month to start applying for jobs but I ignored her as I was busy preparing for my assignments and thesis. Now that everything is finally over, well, I dunno, I just feel like I am not very employable.

I feel like I had never really worked hard during the course of my undergraduate studies and I feel so undeserving of being offered a job. I'm worried about interviews, where there might be possibilities that technical questions might be posed, and I'd certainly fail miserably.

It's just that Mum has such high hopes, and I fear that I might have to disappoint her. And I blame myself also, for being so lazy despite knowing her expectations.

It's like she hears from her sister about how well her daughter had performed, and it saddens me that I can't be that daughter for her.

I just feel really really stressed up.

Counting Down

It has FINALLY come down to this. 2 more days and we'll be free as birds.

Actually, more like entering another cage, the cage of the working world !

Give Up ?

Perhaps in biographies of many great entrepreneurs, we would see that the process to success would be one that involves many falls, in which they persevered into becoming what they are today.

Through the journey, they might have endured having not a single cent in their pockets, or making just enough to survive today. It certainly is no easy plight.

In this voyage, many people around them would have told them to give up. But if they had heeded such words, they would not have become the millionaire or billionaire they are today.

In spite of this, is there this thing of knowing when to give up ? What if this expedition eventually leads to no where ? Your plight is never only your concern. It affects many people around you. The kind of worry they have to go through is not only of their own welfare but also yours.

I can only hope for the best.

On the Phone

These days of MSN, Skype and ICQ (does anyone still use this?), do you still chat on the phone ? Ever since form 3 or form 4, I think I've never called anyone up just to chat. This is partly due to the innovation of MSN and mostly due to my infamous disability.

Today I was chatting on MSN with a friend of mine for an hour or so. No doubt we had lots to talk about, but it would never be the same if it was on the phone. I feel that in a chatroom, you are given that gap to think about what to say next, yet on the phone, that gap would be total silence on both ends. And that's certainly an awkward moment.

Anyway, as we were chatting, my friend was also on the phone with another friend. Now that a whole new definition to multi-tasking. Wow, they could really talk so long. I left the conversation for a loooong bath, but came back with them still on the phone.

Actually I kinda envy those kind of friendship. It's like you can be so comfortable with this person that you could just talk about whatever and not fear about boring the other party.

Anyhow, before I contracted this disability, I had this one friend whom I had a record of being on the phone with her for 6 whole hours ! I seriously don't know how we managed that. It's like we could talked about just anything and I had no qualms about revealing to her almost every single thoughts I had. I could even ask her questions like 'do you think I'm fat ?' Which is such a taboo question, well at least to me lah.

An Uncanny Encounter

Back in my Form 6 days, I tend to meet lots of uncanny characters. Some actually scares me but most are just people I find amusing. Talking to them is actually kinda refreshing. In fact I find it relaxing, I need not be careful of my words and I can be a little crazy.

Well yesterday I talked to one such person. I was kinda having a bad day. Plans I've made long long time ago are crumbling bits by bits.

So this person said ' hello, how was your day ? '

I answered something like 'it was ok'. And the next message came as: " The sky didn't fall down what, why so pessimistic ? "

That was just what I needed. A simple sentence, but it placed a stop to all the negative thoughts I was conjuring. Almost immediately, things does not seem all that bad anymore.

Sometimes things you need might just come from the most unusual places.

I May Not Know

***

I may not know many words of encouragement,
I may not know the right words;
But know this,
You have been on my mind ever since it happened.

I wish I was a little more concerned that fateful day,
If not, I could ... I could ...
I wish I knew what to say.
I wish I could take all your troubles away.

Though I may not ask much,
It does not mean that I care not.
It's just ... perhaps somethings are better left unsaid ?



***

Dangerous world we live in

Just the other day, I was on the phone with Christine in the storeroom. It was a mere 5 minutes call, but when I went back into the living room, my mum was like in shock. She said that a man came into the house compound (our outside gate was unlocked you see). She was overly engrossed by the tv that she didn't even notice someone entering through the gate and into the compound.

The man announced himself as the police. He asked whether we were the house that was robbed. Turns out he went to the wrong house. The right house was just a few houses away but on the same row. He claimed that the house was robbed of RM 70,000 !

Imagine that, just a few houses away someone was robbed. It could have easily been us. Though I doubt they can get that amount of value from us. They'd probably murder us for being overly poor that it was a wasted effort trying to rob us.

Thus, I heed all to be extra cautious nowadays. You can never be too careful.

***

It's only another 19 days. Just a little more than 2 weeks and I'd be free ! So I need to focus, give up a little fun, a little sleep and I'd never live to regret this 2 weeks !

Out of procrastination

Why the hell do we have to do a thesis to graduate?

The floor around me is currently littered with heaps of hair from the excessive scratching of my head. I'm tearing my head out trying to figure out how to finish this bloody thesis.

Well, I reckon I'm a master in handling stress. Despite the time-constrain, I still managed to keep up with my drama series and updating this blog. Oh gosh, I'm such a lazy bum-bum.

Back 2 work ...

Some announcements

PTPTN has announced the reduction of PTPTN loan interest from 3% to 1 % per annum. However, the new rate will no longer be based on a reducing rate. Instead it will now be based on a flat rate. Click <here> to view the statement.
According to mum, they would be sending out the new agreement in December.

***

Petrol prices have decreased to RM 2.00/litre ! Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs Minister Datuk Shahrir have indicated a possibility for further reduction. Another 15 cent reduction translates to cheaper petrol than before the petrol hike began (RM 1.92/litre). Now mum would certainly have to keep mum (see mothers are addressed as mums because they should keep quiet haha) about me driving the car too much.

That's two good news welcoming my debut into the working world !

Here comes the Bride

*Small talk: Oh no, Raymond Lam did not get the Best Actor Award in this year's TVB Awards Presentation. However, he was the only person who got 2 awards ! Favorite Male Character award and Most Viewed Blog award.*

November 15 was my cousin, Jerry's wedding.

Jerry, me & Serene (the bride)

Can't believe that the very same cousin whom always disturb me, whom I used to refer as 'pimple boy' is already married. Makes me feel so old. It seems like it wasn't too long ago that all 10 of us cousins had cuddled together in Ah Mah's room every school holidays.

~

The day of the wedding started early. At 10.30 am, I was already at my uncle's place. We were there to witness the 'Cham Cha' session. This is where the bride and groom would pay respect to the elders by presenting them with a cup of Chinese tea. In return, the elders would present their blessings in the form of 'Ang Paus' (red packets) to the bride and groom.

Although it was scheduled to begin at 10.30 am, naturally we did it the old Malaysian style. The groom only arrived at around 11.30 am with the bride.

The arrival of the bride.


Gosh, I didn't know that my voice is that irritating.


'Cham Cha Session'



Then it was my turn to 'Cham Cha'

Haha, we totally sucked at the Chinese custom. Nobody was sure about how to correctly address the elders. Because in our family, all male elders are uncles and all female elders are aunties.

Godma & Godpa (Jerry's parents), Uncle Jeffrey and Auntie Janice

After that, we had lunch and just mingled around.

Come 2 something, MsRedd, Vanimon and me took leave to the hotel. We had to be there earlier to make some last minute preparations for the wedding. Actually, I just tagged along, I was only in charged of registration and the collection of angpaus. (Suddenly I feel richer, muahahaha)

My Workstation

This was the backdrop in the ballroom. It is supposed to be the interior of the Putra LRT. A very meaningful story behind it, which I will narrate in a moment.

Every table was named after the Putra stations' name: KL Sentral, Bangsar, Ampang Park, KLCC ...

You see, Jerry met Serene on the LRT. He was always on his Ipod, while Serene (the nerd, haha) was always reading a book. Although both of them always seemed busy doing their thing, each had notice one another. Then Jerry started to make sure that he was punctual, so that he could take the very same lrt that he knew Serene would be on. Slowly, they started dating. And now, they are married ! How unlikely !


Never in my wildest imagination would I have thought that you could actually marry someone you see in the lrt. It's like how do you make the first move ? And even if that person makes the first move, would you go out with him/her ?

The Family

Anyhow, in my cousin's case, it has become a happily ever after. (I guess I should start taking lrt again, muahahaha)

Ken & me

Then there was the throwing of bouquet session. This was for all single women. So bad lah my family members, kept forcing me to go out. See, they assume that I'm single. Maybe I'm not leh?

Congratulations Jerry & Serene !

Eventually

So mum was talking to me just now. As usual, she complains about having so many things to do, that employees keep leaving but the company refuses to get new staffs, thereby increasing her workload. Then there are customers that kept calling, the telephone refuses to stop ringing and how she was irritated with the customers, the boss and almost everyone except me.

Then came her worries about the future. That the company may be downsizing, what if they lay her off ? How could she find a job at the age 50 ? At 48, she sent out lots of application letter and receive no reply, what more at 50 ?

Like her, I'm worried too. How am I supposed to vomit 7000 words of assignments in less than 2 weeks ? I'm also disappointed and regretful too. How did I end up with only less than 2 weeks when I was given more than 3 months to prepare. 2 words, laziness and procrastination. What kind of quality work can I produce in such a short period ?

However, time and time I've been faced with such situations, when the task at hand seemed almost impossible. Yet I always get through.

There is no use being miserable now. I should not think about it being impossible. Rather, tell myself there is still chance. Eventually, I'll get through.

Just like mum's worries, I've heard it like so many years already. But we're still here. We did not die.

***

Found this remedy for procrastination in Andrew Mattrew's 'Being a Happy Teenager'.

We sometimes think, "when I feel more enthusiastic, I'll do my homework." Wrong.

'You get the energy and enthusiasm for the job after you begin. You get the energy as a result of your involvement. The secret is to make a start.'

Happy Birthday Naoki !

November 7 was his birthday. We decided to celebrate at Izzi as they are currently having this crazy promotion.



Unlike previously, you don't need to have a particular kind of credit card to enjoy these discounts.
Large pizzas go for only RM 10 ++ ! That's even cheaper than Pizza Hut or even Dominos. And pastas, only RM 6 ++ !!! It's so goddamn cheap.

We each ordered a main course dish and shared two large pizzas. The bill only came up to RM 18 per person, taking into consideration that the amount includes the birthday boy's portion. Take note though that drinks are charged at regular prices.

***

Anyways, we had great fun mingling around and chatting. Haha, especially the part where we were joking about Yuen Ting. That was so funny.


Save for the part we couldn't decide where to go after dinner, I know that the birthday boy was a little pissed off. Sorry that it did not turned out as perfect as you had wished it to be. I hope that you enjoyed yourself though.

***


Thanks for being by my side. You have been the best friend I could ever have.

I could tell you anything and you would not judge me.
I could tell you my problems, and it'd almost become yours.

I wish you all the best in your future undertakings.


Happy Birthday, 汉良 !

One Chance

is all I had and I blew it ? M00nie oh M00nie ... why can't you control your emotions better ?

Never mind, it shall be a lesson to me. I can be a better person this way.

***

Corporate Finance assignment due on 19/11
Thesis due on 24/11 (and that's considering if I don't pass up the 1st draft)
So I've gotta finish this by at least the 19/11, show it to the supervisor, so that it leaves me some time to make amendments.

I've really got to buck up.

Gambatei M00nie ! Gambatei cr4zyb3autiful !


***

On a lighter note, eldest cousin Jerry's getting married on the 15th. Can't wait to attend the wedding !

To Ms Wu

To the most Lan Ci face I've ever seen:

I have a confession to make. Your face sometimes ignite huge urges from many to slap it. I'm sorry to say you have a very SLAPPABLE face. As your friend, it has been almost unbearable having to deal with such a face everyday. Being by your side, I sometimes fear that I may easily be a victim of slapping too.

In spite of that, you have certainly light up my university days. It has always been such a pleasure reminiscing about the silly things we've done together. Because of you, I have certainly had lots of practice on the extremely challenging skill of cam-whoring.

I love that you are a friend that could be my friend eventhough you already have a special someone. God, you would even spend Valentine's Singles' Day with us! And that's extremely hard to come-by.

I'm sorry that we could not celebrate your birthday with you today.

Anyhow, have a Happy Birthday ! nevertheless.

Dear Alex

Was reading (her) blog. It started with ' Dear Alex, ... '

As I read on, I wondered who she was talking about. Suddenly, it dawned on me. Read (Madagascar) to understand.

***

Dear Alex,

It indeed made me smile while mesmerizing those days that we once had. I must admit, I miss them a lot. I miss you even more. It's sad that now I'm typing this, I have to use the word "those days". Those days when we all did silly things together. Those days when we had pillow talk and share our hearts, although we weren't cuddling any pillow =p Those days that we were so spontaneous with our actions and teasing each other with names without fearing being offended as we're known to be "thick face" *smile* Those days, you accompanied me through my tough times. Those days when we hunt for yummy food together. Those were the days .....

I'm sorry, this word that I long to say to you. I'm sorry for not showing my gratitude on what you've done for me. Not knowing it until I loss a true friend who will go miles just for me. For I never really had a true friend before, I'm so embarrass to have forsake you. I'm truly sorry and I want you to know now and always will, I appreciate the things that you've done. Picking me up even before dawn breaks, giving me surprises, making me giggle and laugh my last high school years away.

I did remember, last month was your birthday! All along, your birth date had been set in my mind and my phone. Knowing that, I did not call or greet you happy birthday. I wanted to, but taken aback. Knowing you had even better times now without me.

If only I could........ I will surely........ (I guess everythings too late that now you hav...)

Happy Belated Birthday Alex!!

With love,

Gloria

***

I feel like crying.

Less Critical

This month I couldn't stop thinking about all the unwise decisions I made and my clumsiness that resulted in me spending unnecessary money.

To begin with, there was that incident about photostatting. Then I bought some stuffs I didn't need which turned out to be a defect and I ended up throwing it. I also bought those yarns extra expensive. If only I had just open my mouth and ask.

I also dropped my right contacts which I had just started wearing a few days only. I couldn't stop counting the number of times I've dropped them and the amount of money I've wasted.

Yes, I'm crying over split milk. But I just can't help it. I need to be less critical of myself.

***

Watched this in the newest season of Boston Legal. Love this argument. Couldn't have put it better. It kinda ignite my old aspiration to be a lawyer. Should let Dad watch this.

"Everybody in this room knows somebody, who has fought this same battle and died this agonizing, brutal, excruciating. But emotion has no play here.

Michael Rhodes was 11 years old when he started smoking. It was 1948. At that time,there was no known risk, and even if there were,at 11, he certainly lacked the capacity to assume it. And after that,he was addicted.

They manufacture them to be addictive. In just the last few years, they've increased the amount of nicotine in the average cigarette by 11.6% to make them even more addictive. Recently,we learned that tobacco companies have been adding an ammonia-based compound to cigarettes for years to increase absorption of nicotine. It's basically the same principle used in crack cocaine.

And let's look at the obscene strategy they've employed here. 'Smoking may cause cancer, but it didn't cause this particular cancer. It wasn't our cigarettes or it was genetic or asbestos or a paper mill.' Never do they take responsibility, ever.

And god forbid-- If you sue them,they'll bury you and your lawyer. They might even depose your doctor to death for good measure.

All their insidious methods and cunning corporate tactics aren't just history. It's what they continue to do now, today, because the tobacco industry is like a nest of cockroaches. They will always find a way to survive. They still go after kids with one strategy after another. They put up brightly colored ads at kids' eye level in convenience stores. They hire gorgeous twenty somethings to frequent popular venues and seduce young adults into attending lavish
corporate-sponsored parties.

Cockroaches will always find a way. They can't advertise on tv, but they've hired PR Agencies to hook them up with the film industry, and it's worked. Researchers estimate that smoking in movies delivers nearly 400,000 new adolescent smokers every year.

Every time you try to kill the cockroach, it finds another way. It has to, because when you make a product that kills off your consumers, you have to find a way to recruit new customers.

They've now got a new feminized version of the macho camel brand, using slogans like, 'light and luscious,' uh,with hot pink packaging. Uh, Virginia Slims advertised their "thin" cigarette. "Allure" magazine did a whole spread on the cigarette diet.

They use social and psychological profiling, targeting potential smokers by gender, ethnicity, sexual preference, socioeconomic groups. Cockroaches don't discriminate.

Their C.E.O. comes into this courtroom gloating over their anti-smoking campaign, which is designed to get kids to smoke. In 2005, they spent more than $15 billion on advertising and promotion. That's a 225% increase from 1998, and they have the audacity to declare they're trying to discourage smoking.

This is not how corporations with a conscience behave. How in god's name are cigarette's even legal? Can anybody tell me that? They are a deadly concoction of carcinogens that damage every single organ in your body. Why do we not ban them? Because it's a free country? Because freedom of choice is an American ideal worth somebody dying every six seconds?

How can any company, especially one with such a conscience, no less, knowingly manufacture a product that poisons its users, and make that product look cool and hip and sexy and fun so they can get children?

How can any attorney defend a company that would do such a thing? And how can any society tolerate it? But we do.

There is no conscience at big tobacco. There is no conscience in Washington, which has been bought and paid for by this industry. Conscience has to come from you,the jury. If real regulation is to happen, it has to come from you.

People are smoking day after day after day and dying and dying and dying, and the tobacco companies keep getting richer and richer.

Last year alone, they made $12 billion in profits. How can that be? How can that be? "

My Recent Addiction

is ... not some drama series. But ... oh this is gonna come as shocking ... It's ...

Knitting !
(I wonder whose beautiful hands are those)

The addiction began last Wednesday. It was so addictive that I stayed up till 4 am knitting. Thus, I showed up half-dead for class on Thursday. As if that was not enough, I even knitted on my journey to class too !

I got my equipments from Macy, Petaling Street. My gosh, the yarns are so GODDAMN expensive. One roll cost RM 18.00 ! And you need around 6 rolls to make a scarf. So, deciding that I may regret it, I got only 2 rolls.

And then when I consulted my aunt, I found out that she has many yarns back at her house. Aih, should have asked earlier. Collected from her place just now.

I took a closer look at it and ...

My aunt got it at RM1.50 per roll only ! With the money I spent, I could have bought 24 rolls ! Such a rip off !

Now, after 5 days of almost nothing but knitting, I only managed this.

Yes, I know that's too little for 5 days, because I totally sucked on the first day. Building up the foundation, namely casting on itself was such a task to me. I used the simplest method, which caused the knits to be really loose. Thus, in addition to my clumsiness, after knitting 2 rows or so, the knots slipped off the needle and I had to start over again.

Basically, the first and second day I almost managed nothing. It was cast-on, knit 2 rows or so and start over. I tried a different method and finally, I got the ball rolling.

However, I think I've got to abandon this project and start over. There are several mistakes I made. As you can see from above, there are loose knits at certain parts and uneven sides. No worries though, I'll take a rain check for now, and resume this project of mine after the exams.

Lots of mounting work now. 2 assignments and a thesis !

Madagascar

This would be a going-down-memory-lane post.

Just the other day I came upon the cartoon Madagascar. It was one of those animation movies in which I did not fell asleep watching it in the cinema. Yes, I have a tendency to fall asleep watching cartoons. Particularly, I remember those being Finding Nemo and Robots. Though I reckon it was because I was just overly tired.

Anyway, Madagascar was a cartoon Sook Yee kept talking about. Finally, the four of us went to watch it. I was Form 6 then, and we kinda formed a clan, the four of us, after a particular incident best not mentioned.

Kai Pyn, Alvin, M00nie and Sook Yee

We then named one another by the characters.

I was Alex the Lion, Sook Yee was Gloria the Hippo, Kai Pyn was Marty the Zebra and Alvin was Melman the Giraffe. From then on, we sometimes refer to one another by those nicknames.

The act of nicknaming one another kinda gives that bit of intimacy. A mark that shows we belong in one group. And then ocassionally, when such memories resurfaces, it becomes something I could smile upon.

Aspiration

As I'm writing this right now, the backdrop rumbles of thunder and heavy drops striking ground. These couple of days, evenings were enveloped with such unusual darkness that it seemed like my emotions has transcended to the unknown that controls all, being depicted unerringly.

My attempt to a melancholic post. Obviously, a failed attempt. Anyhow, feelings of sadness has always been my muse. I can never write a happy post which flows smoothly through my mind into words. Unless it's super happy thoughts like getting laid or something. Which should be left for another day. Joking !

At some point in my life, I had aspired to be a writer, which my Form 5 English teacher had crushed unsympathetically. You see, I've always been confident with my English. In fact, I have felt that I best all of my classmates, except for Benn de Silva I guess. But then, I started getting many many red circles and lines on essays I handed up. Apparently, it was laden with several past-tense, present-tense confusions. You can't blame me though, coming from a confused school. Well, I don't know whether I'm still 'past-tense, present-tense' confused, I sure hope not.

Then, I felt like I'm very much misunderstood. I wanted others to feel and see from my perspective. I wasn't aspiring to be a full-time writer, but I wanted to publish a book and I think I named it 'From my Perspective' or 'The Diaries of m00nie'.


Anyways, yeah, these two days I've been pretty depressed, for reasons pretty much the same. I've told myself times and times to handle things differently, to look at things differently, but when come the same situation, I tend to stick to my old ways.

So, umm, yeah, that's me for today.

Hey !

... I can be hard to live with too.

As Mum's birthday falls on the coming 14 Oct, the aunties decided to take her out for dinner. Since yours truly is the beloved offspring, of course I was invited. We went to the Royal China Restaurant, Jalan Ampang. They are having this great promotion. For a 6 course meal for 10 pax, it only cost RM 128.90 ++. After adding the etc etc, the bill came up to only about RM 173. Cheap huh ?

Anyways, back to topic. Now, it has been common knowledge that aunties love to bitch. (well, actually all women love to bitch) Since I am now officially an adult, they were quite open in talking about several things in my presence.

One such thing they talked about was the hardships of living together. From different parties there were different perspectives. Listening in, I realized there are so many issues surrounding individuals living under the same roof.

Sometimes, I would say "I can never live with this person, because ...", but I have never stopped to evaluate myself. Perhaps with friends I could be a considerate housemate, but with my family, my true-self surfaces. Things has to go my way, I am emotional almost all the time, I never admit my mistakes, I dominate the most comfortable sofa and eventhough my sister may have got on it first, I still dominate the sofa.

I guess I can be hard to live with too.

Moth

This morning, as I opened the door to the bathroom, I nearly got the shock of my life when a moth came fluttering out towards me.

"Don't kill it, it's 'popo' (granny on mum's side) coming back to visit us", my mum would always say whenever a moth comes into our house.

Funny, whenever a moth appears in our house, it would linger around for days. And then, as mysteriously as it emerges, it mystically disappears too. Although I feel that mum is being superstitious, I cannot help but to associate moths to something other-worldly, something unfathomable.

Perhaps sometimes I'd like to believe that there are somethings beyond scientific explanation, beyond our comprehension, something more about our life other than to grow, reproduce and then die.

***

Have you ever thought about death? Sometimes death creeps into my dreams turning them into nightmares. It feels so real that I'd find myself awoken with tears rolling down my cheeks and a sore in my throat, those from really deep cries.

Occasionally I wonder about my own death. And I question my beliefs.

What if there is no heaven or hell? What if death meant the end and nothing more ?
There would be no soul emerging out of the vessel, no moving to the gate where you would be judged upon your doings on earth. It's just *pooof*. Nothing, no more, naught.

The thought's kinda bleak, ain't it ?

A number of Thoughts

With every passing year, Christmas is becoming increasingly bleak. No longer is it attached with that magical feeling. Or is it that I'm getting older ? It's just that no one seems to be enthusiastic about Christmas anymore.

This coming Christmas, the only cousin that shares the same sentiments about Christmas as me would not be here. There you go, one less person for this Christmas gathering.

About this cousin (you know who you are), he is the only elder cousin that is ever willing to 'play' with the younger cousin. Yep, although I'm 22 this year, within the 10 (now 11) closer cousins of mine, I'm among the younger ones.

Whenever the elder cousins are going out, the younger cousins would NEVER get to go. I know how they feel, they didn't want to bring us 'kids' out. But this cousin of mine (though he is one of the elder ones), he would always bring us along. He would ask us out to movies, cook for us (he makes the best spaghetti bolognaise I've ever eaten), take us out for supper and makes it a tradition to watch every Harry Potter movie with me twice.

During my younger days, it has been a practice for us cousins to live at my granny's during the school holidays. Most of the time, my dad would not be able to fetch me there. Instead, this cousin of mine would come to pick me up. Sometimes, he would just come to get me and my sister to stay over with him just for the weekends. We would just enjoy each other's company and I get to use his computer. (That was the time I was super-addicted to Final Fantasy 8 and my home computer was too ancient for it)

So dear cousin, I hope you are reading this, THANK YOU for being such a wonderful cousin !

***

As we age, pride seems to play an integral part in the way we act. A child would never hesitate to proclaim his affections towards a person he likes and really mean it. However, adults are more reserved towards expressing their affections.

Perhaps the more we care for a person, the more we have to lose. The more we are afraid of being hurt, rejected, unappreciated and taken advantage of.

Maybe we need to be a little naive to be happy ?

***

Words of encouragement to myself:

Overcome your weaknesses, live life as you would judge yourself and not how others would judge you.

Did you know ?

that it costs RM 0.50/ page for black and white prints and RM 1.50/ page for colored prints in a photostat shop ? I sure didn't know.

Thinking I could save my printer's ink, I brought my thumb drive to the photostat shop. Besides, how much could it possibly cost to print 47 bloody pages ?

I sure thought wrong.

My bill went up to RM 30 just to print those bloody pages ! I could have used my whole ink cartridge and it would still cost less than that ! ARGHH ....

I could even photostat a whole book for that amount. ARGHH ....

Moreover, I gave SPECIFIC instructions that I wanted black & white prints only. That stupid shop-owner printed some in colored prints !!!!!!

Stupid m00nie, STUPID ! I'm sure going to skip dining out for a week.

Gee

... it's Monday already ? The Raya holidays sure did went by quick.

I've been really busy reading. Surprised ? Not academic books though.

For more than a week, I've been devouring more than 700 pages of this.

Brisingr, is the 3rd book of the inheritance trilogy. It was meant to end at the 3rd book, but somehow Paolini decided to extend it to a fourth book. Well, I certainly welcome that prospect. Gives me another book to look forward to, since Harry Potter has already came to its end.

The inheritance trilogy is a must have if you have been a Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings fan. In fact, I reckon it is much better than the Harry Potter series. It offers a more logical explanation as to the source of magic and also refreshing ideas onto how magic can be used and manipulated. Paolini wanders into regions of magic you would never have thought of in your wildest imaginations. Though Seng Cui considers the trilogy childish, which is preposterous.

By the way, did you know he started writing the 1st book when he was only 15 ?

***

I sure took long to finish the book. Because, at intervals, I've also been catching up with lots of drama series and sleep too. I kid you not. You'd be shocked to see the way I live my life.

But I can't help but feel proud though, for within these 4 months, I've read 5 books ! Which is a lot, considering I usually don't even read a single book in a year.

To show off a bit, these are the books that I've read:
1. Snowflower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See (a good read)
2. Peony in Love by Lisa See (kinda boring)
3. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen (most recommended)
4. The Memory Keeper's Daugther by Kim Edwards (wasn't exactly a page-turner, was slow in the beginning yet a good read nonetheless)
5. Brisingr by Christopher Paolini (must have for fantasy/adventure fans)

(smiles in satisfaction)

I better get to bed now.

The Moment

The moment only happen once, after that it becomes the past. So why do you continue to live in the past, wondering what could have, could been, when you could relish the present ?

Daddykool's Surprise Party

October 3rd would be Daddykool aka my Godpa's 60th birthday. Although he believes that he is much younger than that. He has started back-counting his age since his 50th birthday I think. So he should 40 this year.

Technically, Godpa is my father's eldest brother. You see, we have this inter-family god-parenting thingy.

So how did he became my godfather ?
When I was a baby, I don't know why but I was super-cute. (Not the ugly but adorable kind)

Naturally, no one could resist my charm, including my godfather. He loved playing with me. One of his favourite games was balancing me on his right hand. (??!!!)

My parents, noticing his undying love for me, decided to god-parent me to him. So there you have it, my god-parented story.

Ok, back to the surprise party.

We had been planning this for weeks. My inbox was totally flooded with emails from the LimClan. The plan was this, those involved in prior preparations had to be at granny's place by 5pm. Sis was in charge of preparing streamers while I was supposed to be the DJ.

Everyone had to wear red. But there was a dresscode breaker.

As a result, she had to wear a red-tie on top of it.

Instructions were given to park our cars at the back-lane, so as to not raise any suspicions. The protocol for the surprise was:

1. Godpa comes in
2. Everyone shouts SURPRISE !
3. Throws confetti
4. Drops 'Happy Birthday' banner
5. DJ plays 'Congratulations' by Cliff Richard
6. Speech by the star of the day
7. Go down memory lane with powerpoint presentation

Birthday boy man


By God's blessing, everything went as planned. We managed to surprise him !



His Speech


Jelly Birthday Cake

After that, it was all about mingling around and so I took pictures. There were some caught-on-the-act pictures.

Eww ... We've got a PP scratcher in the house.

On the left, is my 'Dai Soh' (my eldest cousin's wife) and on the right is my Godma.


I love this pic.

So bad lah my youngest cousin Ashley. No matter how long I persuaded her to take a picture with me, she kept running away. Hmmph.

By the way, I was super clumsy and forgetful today. And I almost spoilt the surprise.

1. On my way there, I forgotten to bring my handbag ! And so I had to turn-back to get it.
2. After getting it, half-way through I realized I have forgotten to bring the birthday card I bought too. It was already too late to turn back.
3. During the surprise party dry-run, I did not play the 'Congratulations' song in time.
4. 5 minutes before my Godpa's arrival, I ter-press the 'play' button and the song blasted damn loud. Nearly spoilt the surprise.
5. I nearly became the cake-dropper AGAIN ! When Serene was putting on the candles, I ter-kick the table. I am never going near cakes anymore.

Happy Birthday Godpa !

My Family

Food for Thought

Read this really meaningful email. Some things happened to be what I've given some thoughts about.
It was written in Mandarin, so this will be a translated version.

***

Ask me what's blue,
And I can tell you with absolute certainty that this is how it looks.
But after seeing a range of blues,

I may not be so sure anymore;

If you ask me what kind of a girl do I like,
I will tell you that I like a girl who is ...

Short-haired, kind-hearted, independent ...

Yet after meeting thousands and thousands of individuals later,
If I'm asked the same question again,
I may not be so certain anymore.

Is it not that the more we see,
the more we've come into contact with,
the easier it is to lose sight of the purest and simplest form of ourselves ?

***

Before I got my license,
I've always felt that it's so lucky to be able to drive.
Yet when I could finally drive,
I feel that being fetched is also a different kind of privilege.

I guess that when we observe the fortunes of others,
We tend to forget that we are too very much blessed.

***

I love to eat Pork Mee.
No matter which Chinese eatery I visited,
I'd always order Pork Mee.
It is always Pork Mee, Pork Mee, Pork Mee.

Then during my trip to Bukit Mertajam with the BC,
Christine recommended to us a stall which sold scrumptious Prawn Mee.
I've never eaten Prawn Mee prior to this.
And God, it tasted good.

In life, we should take the courage to try something different.
Yes, it would be easier to stay in our comfort zone.
Yet, if we don't take that step out, we would never discover other wonders of the world.
Perhaps you may not like an experience, but you can always try again.
(ps I've change this to depict my experience, but the gist remains the same)

***

Spontaneous

On Saturday, my dad gave me a surprise phone call and it went like this:

M00nie: Hello ?
Dad: Let me set the ambiance ... (starts hymning the 'mission impossible' song)
M00nie: What is it ?
Dad: Do you want to go to Miri tomorrow to send some documents ?

And that was it. The next evening, I found myself at the LCCT airport.

Though it wasn't exactly overseas, it was still over-the-sea and so I can't help but have this sense of independence and adventure.

It was the first time I have ever set foot into an airport ALONE. That very moment, I kinda felt like I am finally, officially an adult. There wasn't daddy to tell me what to do or where to go. Frankly speaking, I am one of those people who never really paid attention. The few times I traveled by a plane, I was just tagging along. Wherever the adults went, I followed. Without knowing what we were actually doing. All I knew was I was getting onto an airplane.

Even in the car, when I didn't know how to drive yet, I didn't pay attention to what roads my father took to go anywhere. Even places I've always been to, like my school or my granny's, I didn't know the way to it. When I finally got my licence, I had to pretty much learn the routes from scratch.

In the airport, I was looking for the counter to get my boarding pass. And you know where I lined up at first ? The AirAsia sales counter ! Yes I know I'm so bloody stupid.


As I got everything I needed, I wanted to go pee-pee. Now, that's one big disadvantage of being alone when you've got hand luggage with you. There aren't anyone to watch over your stuffs while you pee-pee. Though it was only clothes in my luggage, I just felt uncomfortable leaving it unwatched. So I had to bring it along with me into the pee-ing cubicle. Luckily my oh-so-pretty gym bag weren't too big for the hanger.


When it was time to board the plane, I didn't know where to line up for express boarding. So I lined up at the shortest lane. But guess what ? It was the lane for the old folks. Instantaneously, I could feel people staring at me. It's like I could almost hear them shouting: " What is this lah this girl, cut queue somemore wanna compete with old folks ! "

Anyways, all went well and I was in Miri. A 20 minutes or so drive by car and I was at the Imperial Hotel.

The hotel looked kinda old from the outside.

The interior was pretty old too. But the rooms were okay.


I got to sleep on two beds. Yay !

I gotta admit the sleeping part is a teeny weeny scary. It's the first time I've ever slept alone in a foreign land.

View from my room

The second day, I had 7 hours to spend before I could return to home sweet home. So I explored the Boulevard/ Imperial shopping mall connected to the hotel. Ok, that shopping mall is kinda pathetic. It has quite some resemblance of Fajar or Amcorp Mall. Before long, I decided to leave for Bintang Plaza. You see, there are only 3 shopping centres in Miri, and only Bintang Plaza has a cinema. I figured the cinema is the best place to pass time.

I hailed a taxi to take me there. Unbeknownst to me, Bintang Plaza is only a mere 5 minutes drive away. I could have just easily taken a 10 minutes walk over. But how much did the taxi driver charged me ? RM 10 ! Such a rip-off !

When I found the cinema, I searched frantically for a computer screen/ tv for the schedule of movies. But couldn't find one. The ticketing attendant then pointed me to ...

This !

They were still using the notice board kind of system. And I thought that MBO was the best example of a backdated cinema.

And then, when I wanted to purchase a ticket for a movie, the ticketing attendant told me that I couldn't, because there were no audience yet. Hmmph. In the end, I got myself a regular Pure Chocolate and sat at CoffeeBean for the remaining hours.

***

Well, overall the trip has been a great experience. Plus, I got paid just to bring some documents over, with all my expenses fully covered. How cool is that ?

Celebration with the BC

It has been the most extraordinary Birthday I've ever had.

In order to spend more time with the BC, my birthday celebration with them had been postponed to last Friday, instead of celebrating on the day itself, as we had classes on that day. Now, although we weren't doing anything on the day itself, they took the trouble to surprise me.

When class ended, Ms Liar (aka zm) handed me a gift. Holding it in my hands, it felt kinda light. As I ripped open the wrapping paper, I saw a mooncake box. Within the mooncake box was ...

22 Sugus sweets !
And they demanded that I finished all of them right there and then.

As a result, this couple of days, I've noticed a trail of ants in the toilet after I've done my pee-pee. Thanks guys, you've got me diabetes for my birthday ! Haha !

On Friday, I was supposed to fetch Ms Liar at 1 pm, but then she sms-ed me telling me she would be late and for me to come later. Manatau, all three members of the BC appeared at my doorstep unannounced. And then they invaded my room forcefully and raped me. *Sob sob*

I forgotten to mention that prior to this, a day ago or so they gave me a selection of A-F and asked me to choose 3. One of my choices was F and apparently that meant 'pok ye', and so they raped me.

Actually, what they did was they held me down and attempted to undress me. Attempted. In the end, it was more of tickling me. Yeah, I'm very ticklish.

Subsequently they handed me this.


Take a closer look.

Looks nice on the bear right ?

They forced me to wear it on top of my pants and pose for the camera.
After that, at long last they finally handed me my real prezzie.

A mp4 player!

Exactly just what I needed. My mp3 player had just broken down. Impeccable timing really !


The BC was particularly mysterious about where we were heading. Ms Liar told me to bring along gloves as were going gardening. Gardening ? Hmm ...

Anyways, in the car, they blindfolded me and I was kept that way till we reached Sunway Pyramid ! You guessed it, we were going ice-skating !


I had lots of fun. It has been long since I last ice-skated. This was Cabor's first time skating, and she fell like a gazillion times. Joozie was Cabor's tutor. Props should be given to her as she was really, I mean really patient.

It was a different case for Ms Liar and me. Haha, for a couple of time we left them and went skating ourselves.

Later, we headed for dinner at Wendy's, Sunway Mentari. Atmosphere was superb but the food was so-so only.

The night ended with a drink at Republic. There, we camwhored like crazy.

Ooh, the redness of my face man. Proves I'm no drinker.


Constipation


*Oink Oink*

***

I've had lots of fun this birthday. Thanks for all the efforts in planning the surprises. It has been most memorable. Muacks !